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So now the truth comes out ... ex-girlfriend is pregnant!
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 651103" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>I walked into the therapist's office, and his wife saw me through the glass partition. She came out and greeted me with a tray with chamomile tea, Lindor chocolates, and a sweet note about how this might make things better. She gave me a great big hug.</p><p>I really had to work hard not to burst into tears.</p><p>therapist took copious notes.</p><p>I gave husband the rundown.</p><p>We've decided to let difficult child have the session entirely to himself on Tuesday. There is nothing to say at this point that we haven't gone over. And therapist has some very good insights, not to mention he's not The Overshadowing Parent, so difficult child will listen to a bit more and, I hope, process a bit more.</p><p></p><p>difficult child and I talked for a looooong time today. He is right on the edge of falling off the cliff. Gangs. Drugs. Despite the fact he says he wants to step up as a dad and get a job, the kids he's hanging out with (and some adults) all smoke pot and hang out in a horrid neighborhood where people carry at least one gun, if not two. These people have jobs, but the minute they get off work, they get together and smoke. I asked why they weren't home with the kids? He said, "Well, actually, I was at one person's house and there was a baby/toddler, and they sent him to another room." Sheesh. It's still illegal in VA. That could get this kid taken away by CPS. Just saying.</p><p>So husband and I are making plans to keep difficult child much more occupied. That means meeting difficult child halfway, so he doesn't just walk away from us. I told him he could have the car on weekends when his grades came up from Fs to Ds. (husband was mad--"I said Cs, not Ds!!!!) My goal is to cut back on the time spent with-these people, slowly reel him in, but if we just tell difficult child to stop, he will laugh, walk away, and spend MORE time with them. It's a tightrope walk.</p><p>He is shooting himself in the foot. "I'll show you!" (I'll move out without a job, no home-cooked meals, no A/C, no privacy, no car, friends who use illegal substances, and I'll be way better off. Uh-huh.)</p><p>The lithium is really helping. But he is still deluded and extremely angry. I honestly think that some of it is Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). But some of it is the Aspie thing of wanting to be in charge. And some of it is the bipolar thing of exaggerating everything and thinking like a god. "I am a black and white thinker," he said.</p><p>"The world is not a black and white place," I said. "It's shades of gray until you get too far to the other side."</p><p>"That's just what I am. I see that now. And I can see that I've made mistakes all of my life, I've been angry all of my life, and I am an adult, and I am going to move forward. If I please you and dad in the process, so be it. If not, so be it."</p><p>He intends to stay in school, but he also intends to smoke pot when he can. He said he doesn't do it anymore, but then he hangs out with friends who do. All I can say is that actions speak louder than words. (Also, he said he stayed after school to do English, but then said he went to the library with-H and did English, which is why the teacher didn't see him. It just never ends.)</p><p>One thing that the therapist is going to talk about is the end of difficult child's childhood. And that includes pot. I hope he gets through to him.</p><p>If his urine test (which he hasn't taken yet) is positive, the psychiatrist will stop his Adderall. He really, really needs it. But at least he can stay on his lithium.</p><p>Oh, and the therapist is going to tell difficult child he MUST tell H about the situation before she finds out by herself. That's going to be rough, because difficult child puts everything off until it's too late. His anxiety ramps up, and he can't see how much worse it will be when he doesn't face the issue.</p><p>That's how he lost his job at McD's. That's how he and D got pregnant.</p><p>I told him to not even THINK of having sex with-H until this is all over. And if he does, she's got to be on the pill. And I will pay for it and give it to her every day if I have to. (Actually, I mentioned that to D's mom, in a nicer way, 2 yrs ago. She blew me off, just like her daughter did. ("Oh, THAT won't happen. I'm home with her all the time.")</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 651103, member: 3419"] I walked into the therapist's office, and his wife saw me through the glass partition. She came out and greeted me with a tray with chamomile tea, Lindor chocolates, and a sweet note about how this might make things better. She gave me a great big hug. I really had to work hard not to burst into tears. therapist took copious notes. I gave husband the rundown. We've decided to let difficult child have the session entirely to himself on Tuesday. There is nothing to say at this point that we haven't gone over. And therapist has some very good insights, not to mention he's not The Overshadowing Parent, so difficult child will listen to a bit more and, I hope, process a bit more. difficult child and I talked for a looooong time today. He is right on the edge of falling off the cliff. Gangs. Drugs. Despite the fact he says he wants to step up as a dad and get a job, the kids he's hanging out with (and some adults) all smoke pot and hang out in a horrid neighborhood where people carry at least one gun, if not two. These people have jobs, but the minute they get off work, they get together and smoke. I asked why they weren't home with the kids? He said, "Well, actually, I was at one person's house and there was a baby/toddler, and they sent him to another room." Sheesh. It's still illegal in VA. That could get this kid taken away by CPS. Just saying. So husband and I are making plans to keep difficult child much more occupied. That means meeting difficult child halfway, so he doesn't just walk away from us. I told him he could have the car on weekends when his grades came up from Fs to Ds. (husband was mad--"I said Cs, not Ds!!!!) My goal is to cut back on the time spent with-these people, slowly reel him in, but if we just tell difficult child to stop, he will laugh, walk away, and spend MORE time with them. It's a tightrope walk. He is shooting himself in the foot. "I'll show you!" (I'll move out without a job, no home-cooked meals, no A/C, no privacy, no car, friends who use illegal substances, and I'll be way better off. Uh-huh.) The lithium is really helping. But he is still deluded and extremely angry. I honestly think that some of it is Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). But some of it is the Aspie thing of wanting to be in charge. And some of it is the bipolar thing of exaggerating everything and thinking like a god. "I am a black and white thinker," he said. "The world is not a black and white place," I said. "It's shades of gray until you get too far to the other side." "That's just what I am. I see that now. And I can see that I've made mistakes all of my life, I've been angry all of my life, and I am an adult, and I am going to move forward. If I please you and dad in the process, so be it. If not, so be it." He intends to stay in school, but he also intends to smoke pot when he can. He said he doesn't do it anymore, but then he hangs out with friends who do. All I can say is that actions speak louder than words. (Also, he said he stayed after school to do English, but then said he went to the library with-H and did English, which is why the teacher didn't see him. It just never ends.) One thing that the therapist is going to talk about is the end of difficult child's childhood. And that includes pot. I hope he gets through to him. If his urine test (which he hasn't taken yet) is positive, the psychiatrist will stop his Adderall. He really, really needs it. But at least he can stay on his lithium. Oh, and the therapist is going to tell difficult child he MUST tell H about the situation before she finds out by herself. That's going to be rough, because difficult child puts everything off until it's too late. His anxiety ramps up, and he can't see how much worse it will be when he doesn't face the issue. That's how he lost his job at McD's. That's how he and D got pregnant. I told him to not even THINK of having sex with-H until this is all over. And if he does, she's got to be on the pill. And I will pay for it and give it to her every day if I have to. (Actually, I mentioned that to D's mom, in a nicer way, 2 yrs ago. She blew me off, just like her daughter did. ("Oh, THAT won't happen. I'm home with her all the time.") [/QUOTE]
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So now the truth comes out ... ex-girlfriend is pregnant!
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