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So now the truth comes out ... ex-girlfriend is pregnant!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 651148" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Terry, one thing you'll find out is that it is hard to have much control over the activities of a kid his age, even if he is very young maturity-wise. It is probably not a good idea to give him the car. Won't that just allow him to go to these bad neighborhoods? I'm sure you don't live in one...lol. I mean, to me smoking pot, alcohol use and bad friends make driving dangerous to the person and to others. I'd never allow him to have the car if he were mine. Not for a day. Not for any reason. I have a feeling you are going to regret that decision in a very car-related way.90% of Princesses drug escapades with bad friends happened in cars. Before we got wise to her, she used to fill our van with druggie kids and they'd drive crazily all over and get high and get into trouble. She got into trouble after we took the car away, but at least it wasn't our car, thus not our problem anymore. </p><p></p><p>My Jumper is about the best kid in the world (my opinion, of course), but I don't try to tell her what to do at all anymore. I couldn't. As good a daughter as she is, she wouldn't listen. If she truly wanted to go crazy and suddenly do drugs and party and hang with the gang, I couldn't stop her. I could only take her car away from her so she doesn't drive while high, but I couldn't stop her from going that way. And you can't really stop your son anymore. The more you try to hang onto him, my experience has been the more they pull away. He has already out of control and you've tried very hard to keep a close eye on him.</p><p></p><p>To me, he seems way too social to be an Aspie. I don't know any Aspies who have girlfriends except for the ones that are so high functioning that they can actually do college and work and pretty much figure life out. He does sound to me as if he may have inherited a defiant personality.</p><p></p><p>The only real ammo you have over his head is the car, which I still don't think he is safe in, and your home. If he doesn't care, you have nothing to hold him. If he decides to turn things around, it will be his decision, not because you kept him away from certain people. You can't.</p><p></p><p>Here's hoping for the very, very best. I know there is good in him. He has shown a soft and sensitive side constantly throughout the years and he used to have a desire to please you. I think it's still there. They just get older and even if they want to please you, like Jumper does, they will choose NOT to please you if you really take a hard stance against something they want to do. At this age, we are playing defense. All we can do is react to what they do and react in our own ways. We can't really stop it.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 651148, member: 1550"] Terry, one thing you'll find out is that it is hard to have much control over the activities of a kid his age, even if he is very young maturity-wise. It is probably not a good idea to give him the car. Won't that just allow him to go to these bad neighborhoods? I'm sure you don't live in one...lol. I mean, to me smoking pot, alcohol use and bad friends make driving dangerous to the person and to others. I'd never allow him to have the car if he were mine. Not for a day. Not for any reason. I have a feeling you are going to regret that decision in a very car-related way.90% of Princesses drug escapades with bad friends happened in cars. Before we got wise to her, she used to fill our van with druggie kids and they'd drive crazily all over and get high and get into trouble. She got into trouble after we took the car away, but at least it wasn't our car, thus not our problem anymore. My Jumper is about the best kid in the world (my opinion, of course), but I don't try to tell her what to do at all anymore. I couldn't. As good a daughter as she is, she wouldn't listen. If she truly wanted to go crazy and suddenly do drugs and party and hang with the gang, I couldn't stop her. I could only take her car away from her so she doesn't drive while high, but I couldn't stop her from going that way. And you can't really stop your son anymore. The more you try to hang onto him, my experience has been the more they pull away. He has already out of control and you've tried very hard to keep a close eye on him. To me, he seems way too social to be an Aspie. I don't know any Aspies who have girlfriends except for the ones that are so high functioning that they can actually do college and work and pretty much figure life out. He does sound to me as if he may have inherited a defiant personality. The only real ammo you have over his head is the car, which I still don't think he is safe in, and your home. If he doesn't care, you have nothing to hold him. If he decides to turn things around, it will be his decision, not because you kept him away from certain people. You can't. Here's hoping for the very, very best. I know there is good in him. He has shown a soft and sensitive side constantly throughout the years and he used to have a desire to please you. I think it's still there. They just get older and even if they want to please you, like Jumper does, they will choose NOT to please you if you really take a hard stance against something they want to do. At this age, we are playing defense. All we can do is react to what they do and react in our own ways. We can't really stop it. Hang in there!!! [/QUOTE]
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