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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 382597" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Linda</p><p></p><p>I too am a bit worried of their motivation. So if you did agree........I'd have a lawyer sitting with you to help you sort out and make the decision. Because you simply cannot terminate parental rights and still have say so in parenting the child. Otherwise, what would the point be to it? That is what you need to find out.</p><p></p><p>On the other hand......... sister in law's mother was a foster parent for a time for hard to place kids (difficult children). She cared for a 16 yr old with a 9 month old infant. What they neglected to tell her at 1st was that the girl was diagnosed schizophrenic, and it's pretty severe. She of course had to find it out the hard way. She stuck out fostering her for 2 yrs when it became obvious she was both a danger to the entire family and to her own daughter. State removed her from the home. sister in law's mother petitioned to adopted the girl's then 2 yr old daughter whom she was still fostering.</p><p></p><p>Well when this difficult child foster child was approaching 18 the state (who had been trying to convince sister in law's Mom there was really nothing seriously wrong with her) suddenly decided that she was a danger to both herself and society. Because she was already a ward of the state the process was much simpler to make her a permanent ward of the state as an adult. Which is what they did.</p><p></p><p>So maybe that is what they're thinking concerning wm and kt.</p><p></p><p>I don't know how wm has been fairing in his placement. But while kt has had setbacks she's also made probably much much more progress than anyone every realistically expected. </p><p></p><p>I'm sure you're health is playing a factor here. But it may not truly in this situation be due to their thinking you're unable to parent the kids........but maybe be more along the lines of........if your health were to take another turn for the worst later down the road and neither wm or kt had made any real progress they could be beyond the age where it would be uncomplicated for the state to take over permanent guardianship of them. Say you're doing good coping with your disabilities and suddenly take a turn for the worst when the kids are like 17 and approaching their 18th birthdays......or even after the birthday.......it is very difficult for the state to take over guardianship of an adult versus a child that has already been in their care. There is a risk that the state won't gain custody of them and then the kids would be left to fend for themselves. And we already know that that can be a disaster. If the kids were easy child's the state wouldn't even consider stepping into the situation. But kt and wm are, even with the progress they've made, at high risk for never recovering from the severe abuse of their background enough to function in society without risk to themselves or others.</p><p></p><p>(I am not saying this, I'm saying I've a pretty darn good idea this is what is running through their minds)</p><p></p><p>Still the twins are what 14 or so? A bit soon to take this step in my opinion, especially since your health is not deteriorating. I'm also wondering if a little birdie told them about the neuropsychologist evaluation and they're overreacting to it.</p><p></p><p>I'm not sure if you should be majorly ticked or not. But I'd give the decision a lot of time with people to help your sort out all the legal mumbo jumbo and make darn sure you understand every single bit of what they propose before you consider signing your name on the dotted line.</p><p></p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 382597, member: 84"] Linda I too am a bit worried of their motivation. So if you did agree........I'd have a lawyer sitting with you to help you sort out and make the decision. Because you simply cannot terminate parental rights and still have say so in parenting the child. Otherwise, what would the point be to it? That is what you need to find out. On the other hand......... sister in law's mother was a foster parent for a time for hard to place kids (difficult children). She cared for a 16 yr old with a 9 month old infant. What they neglected to tell her at 1st was that the girl was diagnosed schizophrenic, and it's pretty severe. She of course had to find it out the hard way. She stuck out fostering her for 2 yrs when it became obvious she was both a danger to the entire family and to her own daughter. State removed her from the home. sister in law's mother petitioned to adopted the girl's then 2 yr old daughter whom she was still fostering. Well when this difficult child foster child was approaching 18 the state (who had been trying to convince sister in law's Mom there was really nothing seriously wrong with her) suddenly decided that she was a danger to both herself and society. Because she was already a ward of the state the process was much simpler to make her a permanent ward of the state as an adult. Which is what they did. So maybe that is what they're thinking concerning wm and kt. I don't know how wm has been fairing in his placement. But while kt has had setbacks she's also made probably much much more progress than anyone every realistically expected. I'm sure you're health is playing a factor here. But it may not truly in this situation be due to their thinking you're unable to parent the kids........but maybe be more along the lines of........if your health were to take another turn for the worst later down the road and neither wm or kt had made any real progress they could be beyond the age where it would be uncomplicated for the state to take over permanent guardianship of them. Say you're doing good coping with your disabilities and suddenly take a turn for the worst when the kids are like 17 and approaching their 18th birthdays......or even after the birthday.......it is very difficult for the state to take over guardianship of an adult versus a child that has already been in their care. There is a risk that the state won't gain custody of them and then the kids would be left to fend for themselves. And we already know that that can be a disaster. If the kids were easy child's the state wouldn't even consider stepping into the situation. But kt and wm are, even with the progress they've made, at high risk for never recovering from the severe abuse of their background enough to function in society without risk to themselves or others. (I am not saying this, I'm saying I've a pretty darn good idea this is what is running through their minds) Still the twins are what 14 or so? A bit soon to take this step in my opinion, especially since your health is not deteriorating. I'm also wondering if a little birdie told them about the neuropsychologist evaluation and they're overreacting to it. I'm not sure if you should be majorly ticked or not. But I'd give the decision a lot of time with people to help your sort out all the legal mumbo jumbo and make darn sure you understand every single bit of what they propose before you consider signing your name on the dotted line. Hugs [/QUOTE]
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