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<blockquote data-quote="dreamcycle" data-source="post: 487793" data-attributes="member: 13365"><p>Thanks all for your responses, I would never wish on anyone what we have experienced, but it sounds like there are many of us. As far as drug use, I'm sure he has tried pot, but hasn't taken up smoking or drinking--at least to any great degree. He just passed a drug test for this job at Target. He is not promiscuous, and has never been arrested. He is very coordinated and has been since he was small. He could dribble a ball before he was 2. He is left handed (as all three of my kids are...) And never had trouble making friends until he got older. He is a small person, always dangling off the bottom of the growth chart. At 19 he is 5'7 and 154 lbs. We started to see strange behavior starting in grade school. Before that he was always pretty easy going. Easiest baby of my three. He became combative with teachers, more concerned with impressing his peers than his teachers. By 5th grade his grades were falling and the principal was thrilled to see him move on to middle school. In 6th grade he went to an ethnically diverse school that was influenced by gangs. He started emulating the 'gangsta' styles (which we monitored and limited) but was having nightmares about drive by's and having to save us from gangs. We tried spanking him when he was defiant, but that just made him angrier and vengeful. We figured out that would not work with this kid. Even consequences were perceived as persecution, as it was NEVER his fault. For example, if his younger sister told on him for slapping her and he was punished, he was furious because she caused him to get punished. So cause and effect punishments were never very effective, but had to be done anyway, which just contributed to his anger. We had to mete out consequences, because if he lost all privileges, he quickly realized he had nothing left to lose and our lives became hell. Punishments had to be short, quickly administered always leaving something out to lose. At 11 he lost it one day, cooly threatening all of us after a silly fight with his sister, and ended up admitted to a hospital for 2 weeks in and 2 weeks out patient care. No formal diagnosis, just treated the presenting symptoms. They put him on risperdal, and prozac. We moved, changed schools. He passed the 6th 7th 8th and 9th grade by the skin of his teeth. He's had teachers who told us he would never do anything academically, and others who were wowed by his math comprehension and logic skills. He HATES reading and spends more time figuring out how to get a reading assignment done without reading the book, than it would take to actually read the dumb thing. We finally got him into Special Education at the end of 8th grade. That was really not much help. He perceived teachers as peers. If he felt they were singling him out, he would cuss them out or challenge them in front of their classes. I have a 4 inch binder FULL of referrals and Special Education papers and paraphenilia. By the beginning of the 10th grade, he had 14 referrals before Christmas, and was heading to being expelled. We quickly changed his Eligibility for Special Education from ADD to 'Emotially handicapped', which gave him a bit more time before expulsion. His medicine at that point was changed to invega, abilify and lithibid. (these are the medications he has taken himself off of cold turkey as of last week) He never got another referral. His grades turned around and he made the honor roll. He still had to be dragged and coerced through many classes, but he graduated with a regular degree. He gets overwhelmed by big assignments and can't get started. He was still difficult at home though, challenging us on all boundaries i.e. what he could watch, what games he could play, what music he could own. etc. Chores have ALWAYS been a battle. He has had three different psychological testings and was hospitalized again in 9th grade for depression and suicidal issues. Now, at 19, he is improved but he seems to take two steps forward and one back. Sometimes two back.....</p><p></p><p>Gosh, I've gone on and on. I'm sorry. Just trying to round out the picture. </p><p></p><p>Thanks all for listening</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dreamcycle, post: 487793, member: 13365"] Thanks all for your responses, I would never wish on anyone what we have experienced, but it sounds like there are many of us. As far as drug use, I'm sure he has tried pot, but hasn't taken up smoking or drinking--at least to any great degree. He just passed a drug test for this job at Target. He is not promiscuous, and has never been arrested. He is very coordinated and has been since he was small. He could dribble a ball before he was 2. He is left handed (as all three of my kids are...) And never had trouble making friends until he got older. He is a small person, always dangling off the bottom of the growth chart. At 19 he is 5'7 and 154 lbs. We started to see strange behavior starting in grade school. Before that he was always pretty easy going. Easiest baby of my three. He became combative with teachers, more concerned with impressing his peers than his teachers. By 5th grade his grades were falling and the principal was thrilled to see him move on to middle school. In 6th grade he went to an ethnically diverse school that was influenced by gangs. He started emulating the 'gangsta' styles (which we monitored and limited) but was having nightmares about drive by's and having to save us from gangs. We tried spanking him when he was defiant, but that just made him angrier and vengeful. We figured out that would not work with this kid. Even consequences were perceived as persecution, as it was NEVER his fault. For example, if his younger sister told on him for slapping her and he was punished, he was furious because she caused him to get punished. So cause and effect punishments were never very effective, but had to be done anyway, which just contributed to his anger. We had to mete out consequences, because if he lost all privileges, he quickly realized he had nothing left to lose and our lives became hell. Punishments had to be short, quickly administered always leaving something out to lose. At 11 he lost it one day, cooly threatening all of us after a silly fight with his sister, and ended up admitted to a hospital for 2 weeks in and 2 weeks out patient care. No formal diagnosis, just treated the presenting symptoms. They put him on risperdal, and prozac. We moved, changed schools. He passed the 6th 7th 8th and 9th grade by the skin of his teeth. He's had teachers who told us he would never do anything academically, and others who were wowed by his math comprehension and logic skills. He HATES reading and spends more time figuring out how to get a reading assignment done without reading the book, than it would take to actually read the dumb thing. We finally got him into Special Education at the end of 8th grade. That was really not much help. He perceived teachers as peers. If he felt they were singling him out, he would cuss them out or challenge them in front of their classes. I have a 4 inch binder FULL of referrals and Special Education papers and paraphenilia. By the beginning of the 10th grade, he had 14 referrals before Christmas, and was heading to being expelled. We quickly changed his Eligibility for Special Education from ADD to 'Emotially handicapped', which gave him a bit more time before expulsion. His medicine at that point was changed to invega, abilify and lithibid. (these are the medications he has taken himself off of cold turkey as of last week) He never got another referral. His grades turned around and he made the honor roll. He still had to be dragged and coerced through many classes, but he graduated with a regular degree. He gets overwhelmed by big assignments and can't get started. He was still difficult at home though, challenging us on all boundaries i.e. what he could watch, what games he could play, what music he could own. etc. Chores have ALWAYS been a battle. He has had three different psychological testings and was hospitalized again in 9th grade for depression and suicidal issues. Now, at 19, he is improved but he seems to take two steps forward and one back. Sometimes two back..... Gosh, I've gone on and on. I'm sorry. Just trying to round out the picture. Thanks all for listening [/QUOTE]
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