So, should we take the car away again?

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by TerryJ2, Dec 22, 2014.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    difficult child skipped classes two weeks ago. We took away one day of the car for each class he skipped.

    This past week, his photography teacher emailed me and said that she had given him a bathroom pass, and he never returned. I texted him and he said he did return and he had witnesses to prove it. He said he was using his phone to take pictures in the hallways to use on Photoshop. I told him to talk to her. He said he would.

    She emailed me again and said that she did not see him before the end of class, and that his excuse did not hold up. No credit for that class.

    I haven't told him yet. I want to sit down with-husband and figure out a plan.

    This cannot get to be a habit. I'm thinking we should take away the car until he can have two straight weeks of not skipping, regardless of how many classes he skipped. He has to prove himself again.

    (And I am wondering what he's doing, because he's not in the nurse's office.)
     
  2. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    The car needs to be taken away until he can prove himself. All classes all the time. No drug use (test if need be). Curfew met period. Impose a time limit that you feel he can obtain but not so short that it is a cakewalk. Then he gets the car back on a day to day basis. Continued infractions = no car until he can buy one himself. You do not owe him a car to use.
     
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  3. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    No class = no car. That was about the only leverage we had on Miss KT.
     
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I'd make him earn the car. One semester of at least "C" grades, no cutting, no drugs and he can have the car unless he does the negative stuff again. The car was one thing that worked for all of my kids, PCs and difficult children. A car is a privilege, not a right.
     
  5. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    A car is a privilege that has to be earned. You do not owe him a car. If it were me, I would make him earn the right to drive the car by not skipping classes and maintaining a passing grade. You might want to throw in some type of household chore also.
    Good luck!!
     
  6. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    Whatever your agreement was for the car originally needs to be adhered to.
    And I agree, having the car is a privilege...he needs to understand this.

    I would consider drug testing him.

    And if it is positive...NO car for awhile since drug use is illegal, it hampers his ability to drive safely and would create a trust violation.
     
  7. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    WHY does he "need" a car? Seems to me the only need he has is for transportation to and from work. There's a bus to get him to and from school.

    Since he hasn't shown himself able to handle the responsibility of having a access to a car, which is a privilege, it should be taken away.

    In fact, at this point, with the cutting school like he is, the umbilical cord should grow a LOT tighter than it has been and a lot of privileges should be revoked.

    He hasn't shown the maturity to merit having them.
     
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