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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 681174" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>I have never been the rehab or sober living route with my two, and have no idea what is gong on with their lives at this point, hopefully they are trying to find their purpose and meaning. </p><p>I understand the opinions that he should be finding his own arrangements, but with no access to a computer, that would be hard. </p><p>How much longer is he supposed to be in rehab, RN?</p><p></p><p>Just my opinion, but I do not see the harm in you helping him find arrangements. Especially since it is his idea? If it works, it works, if not, that is a whole different ballgame. You have to do what you have to do, RN, so you can look in the mirror. At some point, son has got to realize the consequences of his actions. I am glad he is in rehab, when I last saw my two, they just balked at the idea. They don't even think they have a problem (at least will not admit that to me). </p><p></p><p>One day at a time, the answers will come. It is too much to try to project what may, or may not happen. I think that is stressful, too. The fact that you know you will not have him living in your home is a big step, RN. My two went in and out through our revolving door before we even realized what was happening and knew how we all were so badly effected. Looking back, I must have been closing my eyes. </p><p>In your sons instance, what is a Mom to do? If the rehab is understaffed and not helping, what is there to do? I am asking, because I really do not know. I just recall reading clarification on what is loving detachment and what it is not, one of which is not coldly cutting our kids off. So, I do think it is not a bad thing to be assisting him with finding sober living, which I do not even know what that looks like....ahem. Okay, I just searched it and Salvation Army has a couple here, cheaper rent and expectations of residents.....would you pay his rent, or expect him to?</p><p></p><p>I guess, if it were me, I would help look. I would just be so glad if my kids went to rehab......would not want them home either, because they just regress. Then, I think RN, I would not gauge too much on what may, or may not happen, that is up to our kids and way too stressful to think about.</p><p></p><p>Lots of prayers and going day by day.</p><p></p><p>I so hope for you and your son, that this all works out. As for the rest, you can cross that bridge when you get to it. In the mean time, take very good care of yourself. You have value and you matter RN. The fact that you are adamant that your son not live with you, is a very good thing. That is good progress in loving detachment. JMO.</p><p></p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 681174, member: 19522"] I have never been the rehab or sober living route with my two, and have no idea what is gong on with their lives at this point, hopefully they are trying to find their purpose and meaning. I understand the opinions that he should be finding his own arrangements, but with no access to a computer, that would be hard. How much longer is he supposed to be in rehab, RN? Just my opinion, but I do not see the harm in you helping him find arrangements. Especially since it is his idea? If it works, it works, if not, that is a whole different ballgame. You have to do what you have to do, RN, so you can look in the mirror. At some point, son has got to realize the consequences of his actions. I am glad he is in rehab, when I last saw my two, they just balked at the idea. They don't even think they have a problem (at least will not admit that to me). One day at a time, the answers will come. It is too much to try to project what may, or may not happen. I think that is stressful, too. The fact that you know you will not have him living in your home is a big step, RN. My two went in and out through our revolving door before we even realized what was happening and knew how we all were so badly effected. Looking back, I must have been closing my eyes. In your sons instance, what is a Mom to do? If the rehab is understaffed and not helping, what is there to do? I am asking, because I really do not know. I just recall reading clarification on what is loving detachment and what it is not, one of which is not coldly cutting our kids off. So, I do think it is not a bad thing to be assisting him with finding sober living, which I do not even know what that looks like....ahem. Okay, I just searched it and Salvation Army has a couple here, cheaper rent and expectations of residents.....would you pay his rent, or expect him to? I guess, if it were me, I would help look. I would just be so glad if my kids went to rehab......would not want them home either, because they just regress. Then, I think RN, I would not gauge too much on what may, or may not happen, that is up to our kids and way too stressful to think about. Lots of prayers and going day by day. I so hope for you and your son, that this all works out. As for the rest, you can cross that bridge when you get to it. In the mean time, take very good care of yourself. You have value and you matter RN. The fact that you are adamant that your son not live with you, is a very good thing. That is good progress in loving detachment. JMO. (((HUGS))) leafy [/QUOTE]
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