So this is where everyone is!
- Thread starter Nancy
- Start date
everywoman
Well-Known Member
Welcome to the world of adult kids Nancy. You will find a lot of help here, especially with detachment. Once you've experienced the nirvana of detachment, you will wonder why you waited so long---lol.
N
Nomad
Guest
Yes, "detachment" is a key word on this forum. Welcome.
Star*
call 911........call 911
Nancy,
Welcome to the PE forum. You know I thought for so long that it would be a LONG time before I got to go to the PE forum and time went by like (snap) next think I know Dude is 18. From time to time I'd lurk here and read, and try to prepare myself for what may come to pass. I really drew a lot of strength from the members with older kids who were already tried and had good advice about detaching and letting go but loving.
The first time I posted here I felt awkward, and a little out of place - much like I did the first time I posted on General years ago. It didn't take long for the board to make me feel just as welcome here as it did there - but thank goodness I already knew people. Being shy has it's disadvantages.
I still hope you take my advice and buy yourself an "I made it to her 18th birthday" bobble of some kind to remind yourself of how special an accomplishment it really is to raise a child to her or his (in my case) 18th birthday. Everytime I see the ring my Mom got me for raising Dude? I'm reminded that I did the best I could - and it makes me happy. Not that I'm cutting flips that he's a felon, or didn't graduate, or is living in foster care - or (you know) but...I tried.
Hugs
Star
Welcome to the PE forum. You know I thought for so long that it would be a LONG time before I got to go to the PE forum and time went by like (snap) next think I know Dude is 18. From time to time I'd lurk here and read, and try to prepare myself for what may come to pass. I really drew a lot of strength from the members with older kids who were already tried and had good advice about detaching and letting go but loving.
The first time I posted here I felt awkward, and a little out of place - much like I did the first time I posted on General years ago. It didn't take long for the board to make me feel just as welcome here as it did there - but thank goodness I already knew people. Being shy has it's disadvantages.
I still hope you take my advice and buy yourself an "I made it to her 18th birthday" bobble of some kind to remind yourself of how special an accomplishment it really is to raise a child to her or his (in my case) 18th birthday. Everytime I see the ring my Mom got me for raising Dude? I'm reminded that I did the best I could - and it makes me happy. Not that I'm cutting flips that he's a felon, or didn't graduate, or is living in foster care - or (you know) but...I tried.
Hugs
Star
everywoman
Well-Known Member
I like incredibly brilliant...lol
Although seasoned work well too, since we have all been "cooking" kids the longest!
Although seasoned work well too, since we have all been "cooking" kids the longest!
witzend
Well-Known Member
Tossing in "Sage" for consideration, but it's hard to beat
Incredibly brilliant
Yes, we practically have to wear sunglasses on this forum!
LOL well thanks for the welcome. I feel like a newbie .
I like detachment, I need detachment. I need training though.
First step...I sent my husband an email at work today with the subject line "Date". I told him Saturday, August 29 we were going out to dinner and to the Brown's exhibition game that evening. We have had season tickets to the Browns for years now but never get to go because of difficult child. So she moves to college August 27 and I am planning out every weekend until Thanksgiving.
Nancy
. I like detachment, I need detachment. I need training though.
First step...I sent my husband an email at work today with the subject line "Date". I told him Saturday, August 29 we were going out to dinner and to the Brown's exhibition game that evening. We have had season tickets to the Browns for years now but never get to go because of difficult child. So she moves to college August 27 and I am planning out every weekend until Thanksgiving.
Nancy
See, exposure to us is already making you incredibly brilliant. Lisa that's a great idea. I plan to gut her room out too and put it back together after I throw out all the junk and clean it. The carpeting is trashed but I can't do anything with that until she is permanently gone. And I fear the college experience will only last one semester.
Nancy
Nancy
witzend
Well-Known Member
But if you change her bedroom into a craft room, she will have to find another alternative to her bedroom. There's a reason there's only one bed in my house!
N
Nomad
Guest
When our son (easy child) went to the local college (dorm), I converted his room into my office. It was a little sad. I have a really nice couch in there that opens up. Some of his furniture went with him and some went into the garage and one piece went into difficult child's room.
Then, difficult child moved out. I changed that room into a guest room. That was easy child's original room, actually. It is on the large side and has a bathroom in it.
It has a large dresser in it that was originally difficult children. Some of the finishings were originally from easy child's day.
I have a really beautiful bedspread on the bed and decorated in very nicely. I also have a treadmill in the corner, weights, etc.
When difficult child and easy child come over, both of them like using the room.
I do have a bit of an issue if they both come at the same time!!!!
UGH! I'm working on rectifying it as best as I can.
It was "hard" for everyone in a way when I redcorated, but it did send a message. I was as gentle as possible. Both adult children know that they are always welcome to stay at my house under certain circumstances, for a finite period of time, and if they follow household rules (nothing harsh, etc.). We try to have a good time.
Then, difficult child moved out. I changed that room into a guest room. That was easy child's original room, actually. It is on the large side and has a bathroom in it.
It has a large dresser in it that was originally difficult children. Some of the finishings were originally from easy child's day.
I have a really beautiful bedspread on the bed and decorated in very nicely. I also have a treadmill in the corner, weights, etc.
When difficult child and easy child come over, both of them like using the room.
I do have a bit of an issue if they both come at the same time!!!!
UGH! I'm working on rectifying it as best as I can.
It was "hard" for everyone in a way when I redcorated, but it did send a message. I was as gentle as possible. Both adult children know that they are always welcome to stay at my house under certain circumstances, for a finite period of time, and if they follow household rules (nothing harsh, etc.). We try to have a good time.
