I'm exhausted. And I'm starting to think that my sister in law isn't the person I need to be talking to about this stuff. I don't want to villianize her - she is one of my closest friends, one of those "brutally honest" people, and I know she cares and means well, but she just seems to have this opinion that all would be peachy with difficult child if husband and I just made "some changes" in our family life, etc. I'm not saying that our family life is perfect - there's always room for improvement. But it seems that no matter what we do, difficult child is still a difficult child. She is showing signs of Borderline Personality Disorder, which scares the koi out of me. 99.9% of the conflict/tension in our household is because of her. She's not awful all the time - there are times where she can be helpful and almost pleasant. I try to acknowledge those times and reward her for making good choices - sometimes I try to reward in advance (bribery?). But I'm still always waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for the seemingly random, inconsequential incident that will set her off on a ranting tangent about how stupid we all are, how much she hates our stupid family, how unfair it is that she has to follow rules, etc. Like the other day, we were going out to lunch with the whole family (my inlaws and my sister in law's family). She got mad when I told her that she had to roll down her shorts (they were at crotch level), change her footwear (she was wearing high-heeled knee-high boots, which looked hooker-esque even with the rolled-down shorts), and put on a clean shirt. The attitude carried over into lunch, where I had to tell her dad 3 times that intervention was needed (I was in earshot of her, and her dad can be oblivious). She blames EVERYTHING on me. Everything. It's exhausting and absolutely infuriating. For example, she hates taking medications. Sometimes I'll tell her it's time to take her medications, and she'll blow me off. A few minutes later, I'll tell her again that it's time to take her medications, and she then gets pissy, disrespectful and accuses ME of having an attitude. I send her to her room to calm down, and she blames ME for making her life miserable, then goes into her room and rants about how she wishes her dad would divorce me, she hates this stupid family, she wishes her dad had never met me, she'd throw a party if her dad divorced me, etc. Whereas if she'd just gotten up and taken her dang medications when I first told her to, we wouldn't have an issue! She is SO jealous of her brothers. SO jealous of her cousins (we're a very close family). She can be really mean to my older son. My sister in law says things that make me feel awful, like how I love my sons more than I love difficult child, I treat them with favoritism, it's obvious that I don't really like difficult child... That's easy to say from the outside looking in. I do love difficult child. It's very hard to like her, and it's been that way the entire time she's lived with us. She isn't my biological child - of course I have a bond with my sons that I don't have with her. The bond with her has been hurt even more by the fact that difficult child has been SO VERY DIFFICULT the entire time I've raised her - she came into my life very unexpectedly and suddenly at a time when I was barely used to even being her dad's girlfriend, much less a MOTHER to his daughter! I feel like I've done the best I could with what I had to work with regarding her. It may seem like I treat my sons with favoritism, but my sons are, for the most part, very well-behaved. They rarely, if ever, get in trouble. My toddler is a challenge at times, but my 9-year-old is a dream child. Neither of them is perfect, and I feel like I discipline them appropriately when I need to. To say that difficult child's problems are because I parent her differently (because I HAVE TO) is unfair. Last week I got a call from the guidance counselor at difficult child's school, and he told me that he was concerned because that morning difficult child had been telling her classmates and teachers that she had spent Thanksgiving in Canada with Justin Bieber, that someone had tried to attack him but she saved his life, getting stabbed in the process, that she ended up passing out and woke up in the hospital with all kinds of bandages and stitches, etc. She was very earnest in her story and wouldn't back down, so she got sent to the nurse's office to get checked out. When it was pointed out that there were no bandages or stitches, she STILL insisted the story was true, that her stitches were on the inside, and she didn't know HOW the doctors did it, they just did. So much for making a good impression at a new school. It's a very small school too, with only 3 girls in her grade (it's a military school), so I daresay her reputation took a pretty big hit with that stunt. If you've read this far, thank you. This isn't even the tip of the iceberg with the difficult child koi here. She started with a new therapist last week. I'm just so, so tired of it all. And sister in law didn't help matters when I talked to her this morning, although I do know it came from a place of concern and caring. Ugh.