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So, we think we know....
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<blockquote data-quote="donna723" data-source="post: 227144" data-attributes="member: 1883"><p>Yeah, kids catch on pretty darned quick! If they don't when they're younger, when they hit those teen years and start looking at the situation from a more adult viewpoint, it all adds up for them and they see it for what it is. </p><p> </p><p>With my own son, he was well into his early 20's before he finally allowed himself to talk about it, about how much he resents the way his dad always treated him. He knows now the the fault was all his fathers. But what breaks my heart for him is knowing that he spent so many years blaming himself and thinking that it was because he wasn't worthy of his fathers love, that he wasn't good enough somehow, that he couldn't measure up no matter how hard he tried. Then maturity kicked in a little and he started looking at everything that happened as an adult, no longer as an intimidated little kid, and now he knows that he did the best he could, but his father is just a pathetic, cruel, abusive, selfish, self-centered *ss! But through it all, my son did OK because he had <u>ME</u> in his corner and he knew how much I loved him and that I would always be there for him. And now neither of the kids have anything to do with their father, don't even know where he is, and neither one sees it as much of a loss because they never really had a father anyway! He's going to become a grandfather in May and doesn't even know it. These things have a way of coming home to roost.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="donna723, post: 227144, member: 1883"] Yeah, kids catch on pretty darned quick! If they don't when they're younger, when they hit those teen years and start looking at the situation from a more adult viewpoint, it all adds up for them and they see it for what it is. With my own son, he was well into his early 20's before he finally allowed himself to talk about it, about how much he resents the way his dad always treated him. He knows now the the fault was all his fathers. But what breaks my heart for him is knowing that he spent so many years blaming himself and thinking that it was because he wasn't worthy of his fathers love, that he wasn't good enough somehow, that he couldn't measure up no matter how hard he tried. Then maturity kicked in a little and he started looking at everything that happened as an adult, no longer as an intimidated little kid, and now he knows that he did the best he could, but his father is just a pathetic, cruel, abusive, selfish, self-centered *ss! But through it all, my son did OK because he had [U]ME[/U] in his corner and he knew how much I loved him and that I would always be there for him. And now neither of the kids have anything to do with their father, don't even know where he is, and neither one sees it as much of a loss because they never really had a father anyway! He's going to become a grandfather in May and doesn't even know it. These things have a way of coming home to roost. [/QUOTE]
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