Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by guest3, Jan 12, 2007.
I am not sure it helps, but a fair number of therapists will see through story telling. So, chin up! When I was younger, supposedly I tried to tell everyone a lot of different stories about what my parents did to me, and the therapist usually did not believe them! Hopefully they are still as smart as they were back then!
I agree with Sammygirl that hopefully the therapist can see beyond what is said in sessions. I hope you don't get any visits, just be prepared in case of that scenario. Good luck!
I agree with the others. Hopefully no-one will be showing up because they'll recognize the story telling. Did the counselor say anything when he told the story?
Sending some cyber hugs your way.
Hopefully the therapist understands that this is difficult child's distorted thinking and not real abuse.
Take a deep breath. You will make it through this. We have been there many many times.
I accidentally ended up in therapy as a kid because someone misunderstood what I'd said. I was incredibly naive and the 'rough' girls would tease me about it. One day we were in lunchtime detention (unsupervised; but we had some bookwork to complete and I had my head down, working) and these girls were telling tales about how they crept out their bedroom windows at night to visit their boyfriends. I was 13 at the time. I'd previously invented a boyfriend to get these girls off my back - one of them had pumped me for information about him and then use that 'information' to tell everyone how she had stolen my boyfriend. She didn't know he was imaginary. But they really were nasty, most of the time.
This day, they were asking me, "Are you a virgin?"
I didn't know what the word meant. At Sunday School we'd been taught that the Virgin Mary was a person without sin, and I knew sin was something unavoidable and I wasn't perfect, so after a few seconds of silence, I quietly answered, "No, I'm not."
The girls shut up. Nothing more was said for the whole of detention. They'd been bragging then tried to embarrass me, but that short gap while I thought, must have seemed to them like they'd hit a nerve or something. They must have told a teacher, who called my mother, and I spent the next 18 months having weekly counselling for reasons which were never divulged. The counsellor ONCE asked me about that incident and I explained it to her (having since realised my error) but they kept up the counselling anyway.
I do remember some counsellor asking, "Do you think you have an inferiority complex?" and I replied, "No, it's not a complex - I AM inferior." And I meant it.
So maybe the counselling was needed for other reasons, and the mistake just made it easier to get the process off the ground.
Sometimes things happen for a reason. If the therapist acts on the statements then it's most likely even a cursory inspection will find them to be false - this happens a lot. And if the therapist has already formed the conclusion that difficult child was making it up - then that's good too, because future accusations are following an already recognised pattern.
Sometimes when they say things like this to a therapist when they're younger, it gets it dealt with earlier and later, more carefully crafted accusations then don't have a chance of getting off the ground.
At least I hope so in this case, anyway.
Fingers crossed for you.
by the way, I suspect the therapist was watching your face. That says a lot.
I understand why you're nervous but I wouldn't put much stock in it. Before we officially adopted difficult child and were still getting weekly CW visits (private foster agency otherwise I'm sure we would have hardly seen the CW), he cried abuse more than once. Even pointed to his shins and all the bruises (what 9 year old boy DOESN'T have shins made of bruises), trying to say we did it. (I don't remember why he was mad at us at the time but I'm sure it had something to do with the fact that we had the gall to hold him accountable for his actions instead of poo poo'ing him and treating him like the special poor little foster kid that he was. ) The SW didn't buy it for a second and she hadn't even known him as long as we had. These counselors have heard it all so I wouldn't worry. Sending hugs.
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