Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by tiredmommy, Feb 17, 2012.
At first glance, it see a total correlation between getting kicked off the bus & being forced to walk to school. Even 4.6 miles in 30 degree weather. (30 degrees is lovely feb weather here.) Seems reasonable. Bet the mom said "if you get kicked off the bus, I will make you walk to school" and followed thru.
At 2nd glance, it doesn't seem wise to allow a 10 year old to walk so far unsupervised. (guessing it would take a little over an hour)
HOWEVER-unwise or stupid does not equal criminal or even misdemeanor here,in my humble opinion.
The "my mom will beat me" comment worries me a bit, but unless there's evidence of such, it should be dropped. Sounds like the kid's a handful
Charging her may be too much. Maybe a cps investigation and education? Unless there were other reasons we don't know about. Would I have done that? No. Not alone at that age. I maybe would have made him walk and followed him though! I don't know the area so maybe a factor too but I had to walk home from school 4 miles on a snow day when a kid due to our not checking and no way to reach my parents. Deep snow piled up and I survived. I am an inner city kid so not perfect areas either. Just not sure charges ..for sure not jail time or huge fines ...why add stress to a family like that..big picture ... it seems overkill. Have her take a dumb class in rules for children like age when they can be alone etc.
Without knowing the entire story, I will applaud the mom for making her son do this. I may have followed him to make sure he got there safely, but good for her for makeing it difficult for him. I wish I had been tougher on my difficult child. Now the my mom will beat me? I guess I would take it with a grain of salt. If he is a difficult child, he would know that would cause a stink. I told my girls the same thing about missing the bus and we are 2 miles from school. They never missed going to school, but did have to walk home a few times.
My Duckie pulled that "My mother will beat me if you tell" **** last year in school. Knowing me, the teacher tipped me off that it was said and chose to ignore it because she knows I'm not a physical threat to Duckie and that the kid was just trying to manipulate her way out of trouble. But she stressed to me that teachers are mandatory reporters so I better get ahead of Duckie on that because it could spell serious trouble down the road. And I did... and so did husband. So, in my experience, that is probably just a kid doing a poor job of trying to avoid further trouble.
Hey! At least she didn't shoot his laptop!
There is absolutely no winning in this country! If she drove him to school and told him he could sit on the couch and NEVER exercise, she'd be facing the same charges.
Seriously not enough information in that article, but regardless, I think pressing charges against this mom is just going too far.
I read this yesterday and really, I don't think there's enough info - is it a rural area, did the child have to cross busy streets (4 lanes, etc.)? But I will say I think arresting her is beyond ridiculous - the child could have been "injured or abducted"? Yes, true, but it could have been a 1-block walk and you can still say the child is in danger on that basis. Seems a bit arbitrary. And as far as his comment about his mom will beat him... major grain of salt (remembering thank you screaming at the top of his lungs in a grocery store "DON'T BEAT ME AGAIN" - as if). I don't think it's unreasonable for a check on the home and kid to make sure there's not abuse going on, but in my book making a kid walk to school because he got himself thrown off the bus is not abuse.
Personally, I would have followed him in the car to make sure he was safe (in fact, did that with Weeburt when he was in elementary school and had just pushed me way too far with- his dilly-dallying in the mornings). And I will admit that this year is the first year I let Diva walk alone to school - it's about 3/4 mile, very populated route - because I do worry about bad things happening.
But no, I think the police completely overstepped reasonable boundaries by arresting her.
Nanny state... Sigh.
I am betting kids walked further 100 years ago, alone, and OMG there were BEARS!
I wouldn't let Jett walk to school when it was just at 1 mile from home - even now - because of his developmental issues. However... I don't think we have all the information... It might've been a great consequence...
One of the posters summed it up...."It's getting harder and harder for the village to raise a child. That's because the village is filled with idiots!"
It was a logical consequence. I hope the judge praises her.
Would the police have arrested her because he was riding his bike/playing at the park/fishing in the creek without her next to him? Most 10 year olds spend far more time doing those "unsupervised" activities that he would have needed to walk to school.
I don't know that I would have let Miss KT walk that far at that age; immaturity levels and all. She did plenty of walking to high school (2.4 miles) because she sold/lost/gave away her city bus pass and I refused to buy another one till the next month.
Are you kidding me?
Man, I'd be making sure I had a darn fine lawyer and I'd be making one hellova major stink!
The boy is 10, not 2. There were periods in my childhood when I walked that far to school each day. From kindergarden on.......I walked through an intersection that had 6 major highways running through it, of course I'd been taught the pattern of the lights and often there was a crossing guard......but still.
Four miles is a hefty walk. But by the age of 10 this child should know to stay away from strangers and how to get from point A to point B without incident. I see it as a reasonable consequence. Honestly, I'd have done the exact same thing.
What are we doing in this country now? Trying to raise a nation of whimps? (yeah I know about the bubble syndrome thing) There was a day when 90 percent of children walked to school no matter how far away they lived, in all types of weather. And trust me there were strangers back then just as they are now and just as common place. Kids were taught how to handle it.
Cps is getting into a nasty habit of overstepping their bounds. As for the "my mom will beat me" quote.......my kids said that all the time, just as I did growing up. Trust me, my kids weren't beaten by a long shot.
Lisa, I completely agree! When I was a kid, even in high school, the buses were strictly for kids who lived at least a mile from the school and they wouldn't bend that rule for anybody! In elementary school we lived 6 or 7 blocks from the school but it was a rough 6 or 7 blocks! That neighborhood was all steep hills and the school was located at the very top of the steepest hill, and there was a very busy street we had to cross. The schools only closed when the buses couldn't make it up that hill! We walked up that hill to the school when it was bitter cold with ice and a foot of snow on the ground or when it was so hot in the late spring that the tar on the road melted and bubbled up! We were kids - didn't hurt us a bit!
Where I live now is exactly three blocks from the high school. It's so close that when there are football games in the fall, I can hear every word from the announcers microphone if I'm out in my yard! And every afternoon a school bus stops at the corner and three six foot tall teenage boys get off, all of them at least 16 or 17 years old! Really guys? Are you so delicate and so wimpy (or so lazy?) that you can't walk those three short blocks home from school in 50-60 degree sunny weather! Our little rural school system isn't exactly rolling in money and school buses don't come cheap. I wonder how many extra buses they have had to buy to transport all these precious delicate little flowers those few blocks home so that they can avoid all that nasty fresh air and exercise? And these are the kind of kids that look like the only exercise they probably get is to their fingers from playing video games and using their cell phones!
I don't think that they should charge her based upon this alone. I walked to and from school every day over a mile from the time I was 6 years old. Sometimes alone, sometimes with friends if we could hook up. I don' think I had dry shoes and socks at school even once in my life until I was in 6th grade. There were also the years that they didn't go back to Standard Time and we had to walk in the dark.
I think it's reasonable that they look into the home situation, and give guidance if needed. Charge her for just this? Nope.
I would need more info to make a complete decision. Some of it depends on local and state laws. There used to be a law in one part of OH that said a child couldn't babysit until age 14. What that meant was that if a child under 14 was home alone they had to have a sitter. It was nuts. There are a LOT of kids under 14 who can be left home alone. And osme who can't. I also lived in an area with a law that said that under the age of 12 a child could not be left home alonefor ANY length of time UNLESS the 12 yo was BABYSITTING younger siblings. So the kid can't be home alone but can be home iwth other kids to supervise? Sorry, but that was just pure legal idiocy. It was not in OH and it was NOT enforced unless a family left a kid home and the kid burned down the neighborhood. Cause, yeah, that happened and it was the first time in over a decade anyone had enforced that law.
IF the child had walked the route to school WITH an adult a few times, and the child is of normal intelligence without untreated adhd or toher issues, then I think the mom deserves a free dinner at a nice restaurant, an hour of free massage and a spa day for free. Plus some gift cards to bookstores, etc.... It is HARD to raise a kid who thinks rules don't apply to them. Parents doing things like this is what lets them NOT feel they can ignore the rules.
IF the child didn't know the way, as in had not walked that route before, if there were regular problems with kids being molested/abused in public places (like restrooms and fitting rooms - at one point I would not let 10yo Wiz use the men's room if husband wasn't with us because there were at least 2 reports per month of kids being abused when using the restroom/fitting room with-o a parent and these were within 2 miles of our home, not in our entire big city. So no way would my child have walked 2 blocks alone, much less 4 miles. BUT most of the time strangers won't hurt you because THEY DON'T CARE ENOUGH ABOUT YOU. It is the people you know who will hurt you.
In the US the law says that schools MUST provide transportation to school if you live more than 2 miles from the school. PERIOD. I know some states have put shorter distances in, but they don't have to. I probably would not let my child walk it unsupervised at that age. We try to make sure thank you doesn't have to walk the 1/4 mile up to the bus in the mornings, but that is because we live in a rural area with no streetlights and we saw what happened to our daughter when she was walking in the early am. That is the ONLY reason we drive him or walk him iwth a flashlight up to the bus stop.
Why is it that they are so upset over this and in many areas won't do anything if a child is left home alone all night or is covered in bruises, or says Dad hurt him and has all the signs of abuse but no one will even go interview Dad because Dad has "rights"?
This mom needs a GOOD atty and if possible a publicist to spin this in the media. I still say she deserves those rewards I listed because I know a LOT of parents who would just call the kid in sick for the week rather than make them go or drive them.
They wouldnt be upset with her here. She would get a round of applause because if the kid is dumb enough to tell the cops that he knows his mom will discipline him, they will give her a pat on the back.
That whole beating line doesn't get too many kids very far here either, Janet. OK actually has a law REQUIRING parents to use corporal punishment if children are unruly. NOT enforced, and CPS will fight you over it, but it IS a law here. The look on Wiz face when the police officer we called when he threatened to tell CPS all sorts of thing was truly priceless. I still wish I had a picture of his face that day. He thought he was a poor unloved abused child because he didn't get a new book every day and he had to pick up his own toys and we didn't let him plaay violent games or watch violent movies. Oh, and we said "no" too often. The officer chewed him up one side and down the other, then she started all over again.
husband and I sent her flowers.
I agree there isn't enough info to make a decision. However, when I was in elementary school we used to walk a very long 12 blocks to school (even had to do it at night once I was in the public school-junior high-for CCD).
I remember very clearly in Jr. High when our bus driver kicked the entire bus load of us off for a few kids misbehavior. That night we walked over 4 miles home and I don't remember the bus driver getting in trouble.
We walked farther than THAT to school in COLDER weather......and NOT because we were KICKED off the bus - but because we were WALKERS. Holy smokes. True that was 30 years ago - but kids were being abducted then, there were BEARS then, there were PERVERTS then, there were traffic lights, and cars, and streets to navigate then - and yes - we were 10. If we were cold - we BUNDLED up.
As far as the comment? Okay that's worrisome.....So there will be an investigation, and counseling. Sounds to me like a single Mom, who has a child that is getting into trouble, and she NEEEDS HELLLLLLP....so now? Shes going to get it. They're both going to get it. Problem solved. I DOUBT seriously she will get JAIL time. I do see them both getting therapy, family counseling and her getting probation if that's even an issue - and I see Mr. Inventive (if that's what he did ) getting intensive support - if it's NOT and he IS getting beaten? I see him being removed - getting services and a nice jolly REUNIFICATION of the family unit after this is all over because of course that's what services are all about (right?).
Truth is - NO ONE really cares - they just want to make a stink - and an example because if the kid has BEEN getting into trouble why hasn't anyone offered to help this MOm BEFORE??????
TOo little information to really judge - but a lOT of questions I have (and I'm sure others) will get answered now.
When I was about 3, Mom and I were in a grocery store. I was being a brat, and Mom was exasperated.
And I yelled, "Mommy please don't hit me again!!!" at the top of my lungs.
My mother was mortified.
Mind, my parents RARELY spanked me. Maybe 2x that I remember. Probably because of this very comment... Mom even lit into Grandpa when he spanked me once. He never did again... But it was with a BELT, he never NEEDED to again!
Really though, has this generation of children become coddled and woosified? It's been a very long time since I was a kid and, except for the drugs, the bad stuff and the bad people were out there then too, you just didn't hear about it as much. But we were very self-reliant children! We all walked to school every day. If it was cold, we bundled up, if it was hot, we sweated, and if it rained we got wet - and we survived and did just fine. At an early age, and certainly by age ten, our parents trusted that we had enough common sense to navigate the neighborhood by ourselves ... and we did! Way before age ten we routinely walked the mile and a half to our grandparents house and back, including crossing a very busy street. Our parents had taught us how to cross a street safely and we did! And we rode our bikes much further than that! I grew up in suburban St.Louis and by the time we were ten, my best friend and I were veterans at getting around on city buses, going downtown to shop or spending the afternoon at the ball park. So ... are todays kids dumber or less capable or less resilliant physically than we were at the same age? I don't think so! So what's the difference?
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