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So why do we (or in this case I) miss abusive people? I don't get it.
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 627211" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>So I read MWM's link on family dynamics. According to the author, turning away from our families is to continue the same unhealthy bonding issue, just from the other side. It is something called "fusion". We are still locked into the dysfunction of the family dynamic. The result is elevating anxiety levels.</p><p></p><p>*************</p><p>Maya Angelou tells the story about learning to love herself through the eyes of the God Who created her, of the God Who envisioned her <em>on purpose</em>. With that, she learned to return that feeling, that power, that love, a thousandfold.</p><p></p><p>And that is where her strength, her purpose, her intention, comes from.</p><p></p><p>A fiery, inexhaustible kind of give and take between herself and her God.</p><p></p><p>*****************</p><p>Eckhart Tolle: Living in the present moment, we can hold an intention of friendliness, of openness, of accepting what is here NOW.</p><p></p><p>So that would be not to judge.</p><p></p><p>Not to begin a storyline for our egos to identify with by applying value judgments to what <em>just is</em>.</p><p></p><p>It is what it is. It is a good thing to be honest with ourselves about just what it is, though. We don't need to be sacrificial offerings on some altar of family dysfunction. Here's the thing: If my sister could make me destroyed...it would not change what is going on inside of her. And we come right back to the same old thing that is always under every story of abuse: it was...nothing personal.</p><p></p><p>**************</p><p></p><p>Challenge happens to all of us, all of our lives. The key is that there is no need to transform the challenging event into worry, into obsession, into problem making. </p><p></p><p>Into story.</p><p></p><p>************</p><p></p><p>The world is not here to make you happy, it's here to make you conscious.</p><p></p><p>Eckhart Tolle</p><p></p><p>**********************************</p><p></p><p>MWM, I can understand your determination to drive to your sister's, to force the issue, to shake some sense into her.</p><p></p><p>It's just that, when I needed them...there was nothing. There was not even a backing away from the hurtfulness of what they do.</p><p></p><p>It is what it is.</p><p></p><p>Friendliness, openness, acceptance.</p><p></p><p>I did have other, better, healthier help, in this Board.</p><p></p><p>I was protected, heard, cherished. </p><p></p><p>So I lived.</p><p></p><p>I am meant to be here. I am here on purpose.</p><p></p><p>Seen in this way, every need, every smallest need and then some, was abundantly provided for, was given and given and given again, to me, for me.</p><p></p><p>So, looks like I came full circle. I am standing up again, I think.</p><p></p><p>It's like COM is always posting to us. I have enough of my own business to tend to. I have everything I need, and more, abundantly more.</p><p></p><p>So, looks like I am okay.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 627211, member: 17461"] So I read MWM's link on family dynamics. According to the author, turning away from our families is to continue the same unhealthy bonding issue, just from the other side. It is something called "fusion". We are still locked into the dysfunction of the family dynamic. The result is elevating anxiety levels. ************* Maya Angelou tells the story about learning to love herself through the eyes of the God Who created her, of the God Who envisioned her [I]on purpose[/I]. With that, she learned to return that feeling, that power, that love, a thousandfold. And that is where her strength, her purpose, her intention, comes from. A fiery, inexhaustible kind of give and take between herself and her God. ***************** Eckhart Tolle: Living in the present moment, we can hold an intention of friendliness, of openness, of accepting what is here NOW. So that would be not to judge. Not to begin a storyline for our egos to identify with by applying value judgments to what [I]just is[/I]. It is what it is. It is a good thing to be honest with ourselves about just what it is, though. We don't need to be sacrificial offerings on some altar of family dysfunction. Here's the thing: If my sister could make me destroyed...it would not change what is going on inside of her. And we come right back to the same old thing that is always under every story of abuse: it was...nothing personal. ************** Challenge happens to all of us, all of our lives. The key is that there is no need to transform the challenging event into worry, into obsession, into problem making. Into story. ************ The world is not here to make you happy, it's here to make you conscious. Eckhart Tolle ********************************** MWM, I can understand your determination to drive to your sister's, to force the issue, to shake some sense into her. It's just that, when I needed them...there was nothing. There was not even a backing away from the hurtfulness of what they do. It is what it is. Friendliness, openness, acceptance. I did have other, better, healthier help, in this Board. I was protected, heard, cherished. So I lived. I am meant to be here. I am here on purpose. Seen in this way, every need, every smallest need and then some, was abundantly provided for, was given and given and given again, to me, for me. So, looks like I came full circle. I am standing up again, I think. It's like COM is always posting to us. I have enough of my own business to tend to. I have everything I need, and more, abundantly more. So, looks like I am okay. :O) Cedar [/QUOTE]
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So why do we (or in this case I) miss abusive people? I don't get it.
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