So worried, need advice

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by catwoman2, Jul 26, 2009.

  1. catwoman2

    catwoman2 New Member

    I haven't posted on here for a long time as things seemed to be going well with my difficult child. Or so I thought. She's recently developed what I think may be Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). She has obsessive thoughts that worry and scare her, and some are of a sexual nature. She feels that she has to tell me every thought that disturbs her, which I suppose is a good thing. Some of these thoughts she's acted on, even thought she knows they are wrong. She tells me that she can't stop thinking of them, and it will make her cry. I'm so afraid she's going to have a mental breakdown, it's making her so unhappy. She doesn't want me to tell her dad because she's embarrased, so I feel like I'm carrying her pain all by myself, and some days it wears me out emotionally. I'm making an appointment with the doctor tomorrow, but she doesn't want to tell him about her thoughts, and dosen't want me to tell hime either, so I'm not sure he'll be helpful. I really need some advice on how to help her and if there are any medications that will help her so she can have a " normal life" as she tells me.
  2. graceupongrace

    graceupongrace New Member


    So sorry things have taken this turn. You cannot carry this on your own. Her doctor (is it a psychiatrist?) needs to know about this. I know you don't want to break difficult child's trust, but if she's obsessed and scared by those thoughts, they need to be addressed so that she doesn't have a breakdown, or start acting on the thoughts. You can always tell the doctor privately, and you can caution him/her that difficult child doesn't want to discuss it.

    I'm just a mom and can't diagnose, but it sounds like something more than ADHD is going on here. The diagnosis often evolves over time as symptoms emerge and change. Our psychiatrist always asks about sexual issues as hypersexuality can be an indicator of bipolar disorder.

    by the way, you're not on your own with the board here to support you. :D

  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I was thinking along the same lines as Grace. You are, in my humble opinion, doing the right thing by talking to the doctor. Even if it isn't hypersexuality it could be a reaction to her medication. {{{Hugs}}}.
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I agree. With something this important and the fact that she's acting on things, I think I'd get her to a psychiatrist right away. If the first one doesn't help, then see another. Also, be looking for a therapist that can discuss things with her-- maybe play therapy about these things or something.
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry she is having these problems. This is one time you simply cannot keep her problems to yourself. I think an appointment with a child and adolescent psychiatrist should be made tomorrow. It may take a few months to get in so you need to schedule as soon as you can. You also MUST go to her regular doctor as soon as you can because you may need a referral.

    If she told you that she had a friend with these problems and was acting out on them, would you call the friend's parents? How would you feel if your child told her father about these feelings and he didn't share them with you?

    This really is the kind of situation that requires parents to be parents. We have to do what our kids need, instead of what they want. She is going to be very angry, but this is not something that will probably go away on its own. It is just like a broken bone, or diabetes. You would not keep your child away from the doctor if she broke a bone, or refuse to tell the doctor or her father if she was diabetic, would you?

    I hope you can find help for her soon.
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I would tell the doctor anyway, privately. There are times we have to do things our kids don't like for their own good. I would ask for a referral to a psychiatrist. I doubt a regular pediatrician can really help her. It's not his field to diagnose psychiatric disorders and most aren't very good at it. (((Hugs)))
  7. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Obsessive thoughts are a known side effect of Concerta. It is imperative that you tell the prescribing doctor that your daughter is having these thoughts. Why would you want her to suffer any longer than she has to? If she had a medical condition in an embarrassing place, would you resist telling the doctor simply because your daughter didn't want you to talk about it or it was embarrasing to talk it? PLEASE tell the doctor about this issue privately today.
  8. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    How scary for your daughter! But it is very good that she confided in you...

    I understand not wanting to break your daughter's trust, but she confided in you looking for help....and frankly, it sounds like this is a bit out of your area of expertise (I know that it is out of mine). And that's how you can put it to her...that you really want to help, but you need to find an expert. Maybe you can say "WE need to find someone who can help US figure this out" she understands that you are firmly on her side.

    Sending ((((hugs)))) and support