So Worried now

[mog]

difficult child called for his weekly family therapy and he did not sound good. Apparently, he was out on work crew and needed to go to the bathroom. There were a couple of new chaperons and difficult child asked permission and they said go ahead. While difficult child was in the bathroom the supervisor knocked on the door and asked him why he was manipulating staff. difficult child said he was not he just asked to "take a ****" then the guy got the entire crew together to ask what are the expectations---everyone -including difficult child named them then the guy looked at difficult child and asked then why did you break them. difficult child again said that he just went to the bathroom. The guy has been "picking" at him since. He told difficult child that he is going to make sure that he does not get paid for the time he worked this week. I spoke to the therapist and told her that I am not happy that he is not able to go the the bathroom when he needs to (my sister ended up with huge bladder problems because a teacher would not let her go when she had to). She said that she will look into it but difficult child also made a comment that he saw the report that she made to the JPO and it was negative. He went on the say that he does not trust his therapist, work crew, room monitor or the case manager anymore because up until recently we have been getting good reports but now the one to the JPO is negative. (I did not want to get difficult child all upset but I did call to talk the therapist but just got the message machine) I am VERY concerned because like I have been expressing all reports have been positive. We were also told that anytime that they had an update to give to the JPO that we would be called in to review it and if it was a phone call we would sit in on it. We have not once heard anything from anyone here on our side of the street. We still have not been able to recover his belongings from the other facility that told us they would give him to wear the day we transported him.
The way that difficult child is talking -I think that he is starting to cycle. This is the first time since he has been gone that he has been negative about treatment there. He is even saying that it doesn't matter if he completes it -he will just take what ever punishment the judge gives him. He was so positive about completing this before this incident. I pray that this is just a short thing that will go away. I still am going to talk to the therapist because I want to know WHY she has only given us good news but then only reports the bad to the JPO. Thats is not fair!!!! He is doing good and was moving onto the part of the program where they teach him live skills to take care of himself and now this guy is being a jerk about him going to the bathroom. ugh!! UGH!!!! I don't want him to give up because of this guy

 

[toughlovin]

I am farily new so I don't know your whole story. I am assuming that difficult child is in some kind of Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or TBS?? How long has he been there? I know in our experience that often kids will try and manipulate their parents to feel sorry for them and try and withdraw them or somehow get them out. I think it is important to talk to the therapist about what is really going on but don't necessarily believe everything your son is telling you. He may be putting a spin on what happened. I know this happened a lot when my son was in a TBS. I always had to check with the therapist for the whole story and that helped a lot.

 

[mog]

difficult child is in a rehab facility. He claims that he has a drug and alcohol problem --he has been there since April. He knows that he was court ordered to complete this program and was eager and willing to go. He has been in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) before and asked to come home -he hasn't said anything about coming home because he knows that is not going to happen. He has been very successful there so far but it is about time for him to start cycling. difficult child insists that nothing else happened when we had family therapy with the therapist other than he asked to go to the bathroom but I am still waiting for her to call me back.