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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 171854" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>You are so right about needing to say your piece with confidence. If you stand there and look awkward or self-conscious, or - even worse - deliberately hold back on your performance so as not to seem too 'showy', you actually stand out more, and look very amateur.</p><p></p><p>The girls were involved in a dance school where some of the other girls were getting critical of classmates who "showed off" when they danced ie who danced with the full movement of arms etc as dictated by the choreography. As a result, the girls all tended to dance in a way that didn't make full use of their range of movement, they danced with an appearance of self-consciousness and held themselves back, all out of fear of being criticised. Most of this stemmed from one girl in particular, who was ambitious to be the best dancer and who did this by undermining the confidence of anyone who had more talent. This girl's parents had money which they spent on lessons etc. </p><p></p><p>Because these girls tried to not look conspicuous they actually ended up looking more obvious. And it was embarrassing to watch.</p><p></p><p>I pulled my girls out of that dance school.</p><p></p><p>I was taught, when I was a kid and learning public speaking, that if you don't draw attention to any mistakes that few people will notice them. I would be terrified, feeling sick I was so nervous, but I would go out on stage to say my piece, keep my voice steady and not fall over and be amazed at all the people who remarked to me how wonderful it was that I wasn't nervous. I mean - couldn't they see my knees shaking?</p><p>Obviously not.</p><p></p><p>We've had to hold off on posting off difficult child 3's application - I couldn't get any photographic paper in the village today. But the postmaster told me that we've got until Monday 2.30 pm to send it all off. husband bought some photographic paper this afternoon and I just printed out difficult child 3's photo. It looked great! Because I was using a page of the special paper anyway, I printed four photos (because they would fit). So I will give one to mother in law when we see her tomorrow.</p><p></p><p>I've been really pleased at how organised, and yet how calm. difficult child 3 is being over this.</p><p></p><p>And Adrianne, why do you want your son to move over here? We're very isolated here. Although maybe that would help his anxiety... and difficult child 3's drama group is designed for kids with ADHD, anxiety, autism or other problems. They all support one another and are really good friends. It's lovely to see.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 1 used to be terrified of having any attention on him. At school if called upon to speak, he would curl up in a ball and stay there, sometimes for hours. Then his class was given the job of writing, rehearsing and performing a play. difficult child 1 was given a role and on the night, he was such a ham! It was hilarious. He told us afterwards, it was because it wasn't him up there, it was the character he was playing. And the more he hammed it up, the more he felt it was someone else up on stage, so it didn't matter. Ever since then he's been a performer.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 171854, member: 1991"] You are so right about needing to say your piece with confidence. If you stand there and look awkward or self-conscious, or - even worse - deliberately hold back on your performance so as not to seem too 'showy', you actually stand out more, and look very amateur. The girls were involved in a dance school where some of the other girls were getting critical of classmates who "showed off" when they danced ie who danced with the full movement of arms etc as dictated by the choreography. As a result, the girls all tended to dance in a way that didn't make full use of their range of movement, they danced with an appearance of self-consciousness and held themselves back, all out of fear of being criticised. Most of this stemmed from one girl in particular, who was ambitious to be the best dancer and who did this by undermining the confidence of anyone who had more talent. This girl's parents had money which they spent on lessons etc. Because these girls tried to not look conspicuous they actually ended up looking more obvious. And it was embarrassing to watch. I pulled my girls out of that dance school. I was taught, when I was a kid and learning public speaking, that if you don't draw attention to any mistakes that few people will notice them. I would be terrified, feeling sick I was so nervous, but I would go out on stage to say my piece, keep my voice steady and not fall over and be amazed at all the people who remarked to me how wonderful it was that I wasn't nervous. I mean - couldn't they see my knees shaking? Obviously not. We've had to hold off on posting off difficult child 3's application - I couldn't get any photographic paper in the village today. But the postmaster told me that we've got until Monday 2.30 pm to send it all off. husband bought some photographic paper this afternoon and I just printed out difficult child 3's photo. It looked great! Because I was using a page of the special paper anyway, I printed four photos (because they would fit). So I will give one to mother in law when we see her tomorrow. I've been really pleased at how organised, and yet how calm. difficult child 3 is being over this. And Adrianne, why do you want your son to move over here? We're very isolated here. Although maybe that would help his anxiety... and difficult child 3's drama group is designed for kids with ADHD, anxiety, autism or other problems. They all support one another and are really good friends. It's lovely to see. difficult child 1 used to be terrified of having any attention on him. At school if called upon to speak, he would curl up in a ball and stay there, sometimes for hours. Then his class was given the job of writing, rehearsing and performing a play. difficult child 1 was given a role and on the night, he was such a ham! It was hilarious. He told us afterwards, it was because it wasn't him up there, it was the character he was playing. And the more he hammed it up, the more he felt it was someone else up on stage, so it didn't matter. Ever since then he's been a performer. Marg [/QUOTE]
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