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Social difficulties/loner by choice--what do you do?
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<blockquote data-quote="confuzzled" data-source="post: 468048" data-attributes="member: 8831"><p>the setting a limit thing is a given. lesson learned. i am 100% positive i let her down by not sending the kid home asap--i was so befuddled by both kids i claim temporary insanity.</p><p></p><p>its a recent recurrent theme that people seek out mine, and mine wants nothing to do with it. <em>at all</em>. she just wants to be alone...you'd think she was garbo herself.</p><p></p><p>in the past, she's always had a small, but tight circle of friends. she'd be out with the neighborhood kids having a grand old time. unfortunately, we have the type of school district that itsnt conducive to fostering long-term relationships...its never the same kids from year to year. but by last year, s-l-o-w-l-y she was coming back out of her shell--going to parties, doing activities after school, etc.</p><p></p><p>new year, new school, new people, and she's back to isolating again. </p><p></p><p>she does work herself up into an anxiety frenzy over the most ridiculous what if's, and while i recognize its part of the disorder, its no less annoying.</p><p></p><p>like i said, on the surface, Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) seems like a no brainer. i'm the first person to agree thats what it <em>seems</em> like. but it really doesnt fit, for a myriad of reasons, including history, and its been rule out yet again, pretty conclusively. she's complex, and probably has comorbid issues going on, and no doubt we are still uncovering them. the labels are kind of irrelevent at this stage--we are at a place where we are addressing symptoms, not labels anymore. so we can call her a pineapple for all i care, lol...what do i DO about it?!</p><p></p><p>i feel like i'm constantly forcing her to do whatever...even with me, i have to cajole her out of the house even though she admits she has a great time once she's there (i'm way more fun than you'd think, LOL). </p><p></p><p>i just dont know when to stop "making her"....</p><p></p><p>i've also come to the recent conclusion that its time to tease out what is personality and what is disorder and what is behavorial...i'm sick to death of "therapy" as its pretty much going nowhere. i need to actually focus on whats fixable and ignore whats not--i can certainly accept the fact that she's not a social animal if thats her nature. </p><p></p><p>but its hard when she herself is so resistent to any kind of "help".</p><p></p><p>(todays vomit fest is unknown...could have been anxiety, could have been breakfast/medications, could be a stomach virus--she's home and happily barricaded in her room, in pjs, at the computer.)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="confuzzled, post: 468048, member: 8831"] the setting a limit thing is a given. lesson learned. i am 100% positive i let her down by not sending the kid home asap--i was so befuddled by both kids i claim temporary insanity. its a recent recurrent theme that people seek out mine, and mine wants nothing to do with it. [I]at all[/I]. she just wants to be alone...you'd think she was garbo herself. in the past, she's always had a small, but tight circle of friends. she'd be out with the neighborhood kids having a grand old time. unfortunately, we have the type of school district that itsnt conducive to fostering long-term relationships...its never the same kids from year to year. but by last year, s-l-o-w-l-y she was coming back out of her shell--going to parties, doing activities after school, etc. new year, new school, new people, and she's back to isolating again. she does work herself up into an anxiety frenzy over the most ridiculous what if's, and while i recognize its part of the disorder, its no less annoying. like i said, on the surface, Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) seems like a no brainer. i'm the first person to agree thats what it [I]seems[/I] like. but it really doesnt fit, for a myriad of reasons, including history, and its been rule out yet again, pretty conclusively. she's complex, and probably has comorbid issues going on, and no doubt we are still uncovering them. the labels are kind of irrelevent at this stage--we are at a place where we are addressing symptoms, not labels anymore. so we can call her a pineapple for all i care, lol...what do i DO about it?! i feel like i'm constantly forcing her to do whatever...even with me, i have to cajole her out of the house even though she admits she has a great time once she's there (i'm way more fun than you'd think, LOL). i just dont know when to stop "making her".... i've also come to the recent conclusion that its time to tease out what is personality and what is disorder and what is behavorial...i'm sick to death of "therapy" as its pretty much going nowhere. i need to actually focus on whats fixable and ignore whats not--i can certainly accept the fact that she's not a social animal if thats her nature. but its hard when she herself is so resistent to any kind of "help". (todays vomit fest is unknown...could have been anxiety, could have been breakfast/medications, could be a stomach virus--she's home and happily barricaded in her room, in pjs, at the computer.) [/QUOTE]
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