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sold a bill of goods
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 625460" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>You know, it's even harder to let go of what your spouse does, but you can't force him to stop the enabling either. Obviously they have money from somewhere. I mean, a $1200 bed isn't peanuts. If they had no money, they'd be going to some of the places I volunteer at and put their names on a waiting list for a bed. Some of our truly poor clients, who are not getting money from illegal means or relatives, often tell us they sleep on couches or on sleeping bags on the floor and we feel terrible, but they wait and are very grateful when they get something (welll, MOST of them!!!!) <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> But frankly if your husband wants to give them half your assets just to buy daughter in law Ugg boots, another luxury...not a necessity), you can't stop him. All you'll do is fight. I would tell him, if it were me (and I know your not me) just to do what he does and not tell you about it because you disagree with his decision and would rather not get stressed out.</p><p></p><p>And when he offers your babysitting services?</p><p></p><p>It's Girls Night Out!!!! You and your friends or one friend or yourself go have a meal and a few laughs or, if alone, coffee and a good book while your husband makes good on his promise to babysit.</p><p></p><p>I don't see my grandson often as he is in Missouri. I thought it would bother me more than it does. I am expecting a granddaughter soon and am very excited. But the truth is, I am now 60 years old and have no desire to raise a child anymore nor take responsibility for any child. I am having fun on my own, something I had not done all my life. I had always been caring for others, especially my beloved children. I am positive I will fall madly in love with my baby granddaughter. I will love her to the moon and beyond, as I tell my kids about how much I love them (yep, still use those words to my adult kids). But I am not in the mental shape or interest to take care of another child. Not at my age. I wanta to have fun with my granddaughter then hand her back to my precious daughter. </p><p></p><p>You are considerably younger than me and I don't know what mindset you are in, but I do know that we all deserve a happy, fulfilling life that focuses on ourselves once we have raised our children. If we prefer something else, that is all right too. However, I don't believe (and this is just MY opinion) that we should be forced into anything that makes us cranky and I don't think we should allow others to cross the boundary of guilting us into doing things for them that we don't want to do.</p><p></p><p>"I'm your MOTHER!"</p><p>"I'm your DAUGHTER!"</p><p>"I'm your SISTER!"</p><p></p><p>There are many guilta-a-holics out there who try to make you think you are responsible for their well being while they do very little or nothing to make their own lives better and, in fact, often deliberately make their lives worse. Then they flock to the responsible family member for money, temporary comfort, and they often do not appreciate it and treat us badly. Been there/done that/have the tee-shirt. Gave the tee-shirt back <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 625460, member: 1550"] You know, it's even harder to let go of what your spouse does, but you can't force him to stop the enabling either. Obviously they have money from somewhere. I mean, a $1200 bed isn't peanuts. If they had no money, they'd be going to some of the places I volunteer at and put their names on a waiting list for a bed. Some of our truly poor clients, who are not getting money from illegal means or relatives, often tell us they sleep on couches or on sleeping bags on the floor and we feel terrible, but they wait and are very grateful when they get something (welll, MOST of them!!!!) :) But frankly if your husband wants to give them half your assets just to buy daughter in law Ugg boots, another luxury...not a necessity), you can't stop him. All you'll do is fight. I would tell him, if it were me (and I know your not me) just to do what he does and not tell you about it because you disagree with his decision and would rather not get stressed out. And when he offers your babysitting services? It's Girls Night Out!!!! You and your friends or one friend or yourself go have a meal and a few laughs or, if alone, coffee and a good book while your husband makes good on his promise to babysit. I don't see my grandson often as he is in Missouri. I thought it would bother me more than it does. I am expecting a granddaughter soon and am very excited. But the truth is, I am now 60 years old and have no desire to raise a child anymore nor take responsibility for any child. I am having fun on my own, something I had not done all my life. I had always been caring for others, especially my beloved children. I am positive I will fall madly in love with my baby granddaughter. I will love her to the moon and beyond, as I tell my kids about how much I love them (yep, still use those words to my adult kids). But I am not in the mental shape or interest to take care of another child. Not at my age. I wanta to have fun with my granddaughter then hand her back to my precious daughter. You are considerably younger than me and I don't know what mindset you are in, but I do know that we all deserve a happy, fulfilling life that focuses on ourselves once we have raised our children. If we prefer something else, that is all right too. However, I don't believe (and this is just MY opinion) that we should be forced into anything that makes us cranky and I don't think we should allow others to cross the boundary of guilting us into doing things for them that we don't want to do. "I'm your MOTHER!" "I'm your DAUGHTER!" "I'm your SISTER!" There are many guilta-a-holics out there who try to make you think you are responsible for their well being while they do very little or nothing to make their own lives better and, in fact, often deliberately make their lives worse. Then they flock to the responsible family member for money, temporary comfort, and they often do not appreciate it and treat us badly. Been there/done that/have the tee-shirt. Gave the tee-shirt back :) [/QUOTE]
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