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Some answers to parenting criticisms
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<blockquote data-quote="muttmeister" data-source="post: 354370" data-attributes="member: 135"><p>As a member of the "older generation" I have a SLIGHTLY different take on all of this. I grew up in the 50's (back when dirt was a new invention<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" />) and it was in a rural community so we did have a lot of freedom. However, anybody with a brain knows that times change and we have to change our parenting to meet the challenges of whatever time we live in. </p><p> </p><p>I think it is absolutely fantastic that parents are more involved with their kids (especially dads - a lot of kids in my day didn't even see their dads for days at a time; they'd be gone to work before the kids got up and not home yet when the kids went to bed). Only good can come from parents that are involved in their kids lives. </p><p> </p><p>However, as somebody who taught for a number of years, I think the criticism of "helicopter parents" is another thing entirely. I think we all agree that being involved with your kids and being there when they need you is essential. However, being there to solve every problem they encounter is not to their advantage. Kids have to be a little bit independent (within the bounds of safety, etc.) in order to learn to solve their own problems and function in the world. in my humble opinion it is the job of parents to prepare their kids to leave home. If we do a good job they will want to come back to visit, but not to stay if they can help it. At one point a couple of years ago there were two of mothers who wrote a book and they were appearing on a morning TV show. THey explained that now that they had children, they were devoting ALL of their time to their kids (leaving no time for jobs, spouses, hobbies, outside interests, etc.) I could only think, "Those poor kids!"</p><p> </p><p>I think in this time we have to walk a fine line - we do want to be in our kids lives; we want to be there to teach them to be valuable human beings. We want to protect them. HOwever, we need to nurture them in such a way that they don't rely on us for everything. They HAVE to learn to think for themselves and act on their own or they will never become adults and they can't start doing that when they are 18; they have to start at an early age. It is our job to let them fall off their bikes; let them fail their math tests when they don't study; let them strike out when they play baseball; let their best friends be mad at them; let them go without lunch because they spent all of their money on pop and candy; let them face the music because they didn't do their homework; let them be disciplined at school because they did something wrong. ETC. We can sympathize, empathize, cry for them when they aren't looking, support them by going to their games, sitting through their recitals, taking them to soccer practice, listening to the same stupid joke skatey-eight times, etc., etc., etc. But in the end, we want them to grow and function as adults. They will not do that if we do everything for them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="muttmeister, post: 354370, member: 135"] As a member of the "older generation" I have a SLIGHTLY different take on all of this. I grew up in the 50's (back when dirt was a new invention:raspberry-tounge:) and it was in a rural community so we did have a lot of freedom. However, anybody with a brain knows that times change and we have to change our parenting to meet the challenges of whatever time we live in. I think it is absolutely fantastic that parents are more involved with their kids (especially dads - a lot of kids in my day didn't even see their dads for days at a time; they'd be gone to work before the kids got up and not home yet when the kids went to bed). Only good can come from parents that are involved in their kids lives. However, as somebody who taught for a number of years, I think the criticism of "helicopter parents" is another thing entirely. I think we all agree that being involved with your kids and being there when they need you is essential. However, being there to solve every problem they encounter is not to their advantage. Kids have to be a little bit independent (within the bounds of safety, etc.) in order to learn to solve their own problems and function in the world. in my humble opinion it is the job of parents to prepare their kids to leave home. If we do a good job they will want to come back to visit, but not to stay if they can help it. At one point a couple of years ago there were two of mothers who wrote a book and they were appearing on a morning TV show. THey explained that now that they had children, they were devoting ALL of their time to their kids (leaving no time for jobs, spouses, hobbies, outside interests, etc.) I could only think, "Those poor kids!" I think in this time we have to walk a fine line - we do want to be in our kids lives; we want to be there to teach them to be valuable human beings. We want to protect them. HOwever, we need to nurture them in such a way that they don't rely on us for everything. They HAVE to learn to think for themselves and act on their own or they will never become adults and they can't start doing that when they are 18; they have to start at an early age. It is our job to let them fall off their bikes; let them fail their math tests when they don't study; let them strike out when they play baseball; let their best friends be mad at them; let them go without lunch because they spent all of their money on pop and candy; let them face the music because they didn't do their homework; let them be disciplined at school because they did something wrong. ETC. We can sympathize, empathize, cry for them when they aren't looking, support them by going to their games, sitting through their recitals, taking them to soccer practice, listening to the same stupid joke skatey-eight times, etc., etc., etc. But in the end, we want them to grow and function as adults. They will not do that if we do everything for them. [/QUOTE]
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