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The Watercooler
Some answers to parenting criticisms
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 354381" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Mutt, that's pretty much the point of the article - a balanced attitude as well as a fairly forgiving one, instead of people complacently referring to the "good old days" as if they were perfect, and seeing only bad things whichever way you look at today's upbringing methods.</p><p></p><p>I was born in 1955 but raised as if it was 1945, post-war depression. A very conservative upbringing, socially isolated apart from school, different standards to my classmates and neighbourhood kids. Not a lot of social interaction outside school anyway, with a lot of farm chores and home duties; mixed messages form parents of "You're really smart, how come you only came third in the class?" followed by the expectation that I would leave school and get a job, rather than expect to study for a career. I fully agree with Richard Glover in his description of parenting in the 60s where there were greater barriers between parent & child. We were controlled by the clock ("be home by 5 pm")and perhaps by geographical boundaries ("don't go past the old dam"), but apart from that, we were left unsupervised and at risk. Our parents didn't have a lot of options - they were generally too busy to hover to any extent.</p><p></p><p>We occasionally get emails which celebrate the childraising of the 60s as if it was the benchmark, and says rubbish like, "It didn't do us any harm; we all survived."</p><p>The thing is - those of us who are here ARE the ones who survived. I know I can remember kids who did not; kids who were injured, kids who became ill, kids whose lives will never be the same, kids who never survived to graduate.</p><p></p><p>Yes, some parents these days hover too much, in my opinion. But that IS just in my opinion. Only time will tell whose methods have produced the best results.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 354381, member: 1991"] Mutt, that's pretty much the point of the article - a balanced attitude as well as a fairly forgiving one, instead of people complacently referring to the "good old days" as if they were perfect, and seeing only bad things whichever way you look at today's upbringing methods. I was born in 1955 but raised as if it was 1945, post-war depression. A very conservative upbringing, socially isolated apart from school, different standards to my classmates and neighbourhood kids. Not a lot of social interaction outside school anyway, with a lot of farm chores and home duties; mixed messages form parents of "You're really smart, how come you only came third in the class?" followed by the expectation that I would leave school and get a job, rather than expect to study for a career. I fully agree with Richard Glover in his description of parenting in the 60s where there were greater barriers between parent & child. We were controlled by the clock ("be home by 5 pm")and perhaps by geographical boundaries ("don't go past the old dam"), but apart from that, we were left unsupervised and at risk. Our parents didn't have a lot of options - they were generally too busy to hover to any extent. We occasionally get emails which celebrate the childraising of the 60s as if it was the benchmark, and says rubbish like, "It didn't do us any harm; we all survived." The thing is - those of us who are here ARE the ones who survived. I know I can remember kids who did not; kids who were injured, kids who became ill, kids whose lives will never be the same, kids who never survived to graduate. Yes, some parents these days hover too much, in my opinion. But that IS just in my opinion. Only time will tell whose methods have produced the best results. Marg [/QUOTE]
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