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General Parenting
Some days I
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<blockquote data-quote="DaisyFace" data-source="post: 273358" data-attributes="member: 6546"><p>((((Hugs)))) to you....</p><p> </p><p>I have not read all of the responses, so please forgive me if I am being repetitive....</p><p> </p><p>One of the things that has always helped me is remembering the true meaning of the phrase "I hate you" (No, really!!)</p><p> </p><p>Emotionally speaking, hate is NOT the opposite of love. (And anyone who has ever been through a relationship that dissolved over time can attest). The opposite of love is APATHY--when you just are beyond caring about the other person and literally don't give enough of a d*** to even get emotional about anything that they do.</p><p> </p><p>When someone screams "I hate you"--they are really saying that they love you, but they are anrgy, frustrated and upset and they don't know how to deal with you in a way that will give them what they want. "I hate you" means that you are being a good Mom by setting limits and enforcing boundaries and your kids can't figure out a way to get around it.</p><p> </p><p>Next time you hear that phrase--mentally insert the true meaning behind it. You will find that you don't need a rhino skin at all. For example:</p><p> </p><p>You enforced the rules about doing chores--and your daughter came back with "<em>I love you, Mom, but this makes me angry, frustrated and upset and I can't figure out a way to get you to stop making me do my chores</em>!!!"</p><p> </p><p>Makes perfect sense, doesn't it?</p><p> </p><p>Hang in there!</p><p> </p><p>--DaisyF</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DaisyFace, post: 273358, member: 6546"] ((((Hugs)))) to you.... I have not read all of the responses, so please forgive me if I am being repetitive.... One of the things that has always helped me is remembering the true meaning of the phrase "I hate you" (No, really!!) Emotionally speaking, hate is NOT the opposite of love. (And anyone who has ever been through a relationship that dissolved over time can attest). The opposite of love is APATHY--when you just are beyond caring about the other person and literally don't give enough of a d*** to even get emotional about anything that they do. When someone screams "I hate you"--they are really saying that they love you, but they are anrgy, frustrated and upset and they don't know how to deal with you in a way that will give them what they want. "I hate you" means that you are being a good Mom by setting limits and enforcing boundaries and your kids can't figure out a way to get around it. Next time you hear that phrase--mentally insert the true meaning behind it. You will find that you don't need a rhino skin at all. For example: You enforced the rules about doing chores--and your daughter came back with "[I]I love you, Mom, but this makes me angry, frustrated and upset and I can't figure out a way to get you to stop making me do my chores[/I]!!!" Makes perfect sense, doesn't it? Hang in there! --DaisyF [/QUOTE]
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