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General Parenting
Some evenings...
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 488154" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Yes, I think you are right, Buddy. I am still learning how J works on a physical level. I think he does have great sensitivity to such things. I was aware he was genuinely thirsty and wanted to "solve" the problem in some way to our mutual satisfaction but he just kept shouting "You don't want me to have a drink!" which is all he could understand about the situation in that moment. When I say he kicks and hits, he does not hurt me or do it really seriously, but for me there is this shadow of worry about him not grasping that he cannot do this. A lagging skill, definitely - and I unfortunately have my own lagging skills, I think. </p><p>Bottom line is that he is, as you say, a sweet kid - very emotional and loving, affectionate. That is supposed to be typical of ADHD kids but I don't know about that, I just see it as it manifests in him. This morning he climbed into my bed and kissed me, saying he was going to be a good boy. I am going to say please and thank you all day, he announced... We were both, of course, anxious to make up and we had a nice, affectionate morning. He told me about his teacher and, with great reluctance, told me that she punishes the boys all the time and that his best friend S. told him that he is going to get a knife and cut her... This kind of imagery may well be inspired by J... He is just joking, Mummy, he said quickly. The teacher is a bit of a battleaxe really - very devoted to academic work but very strict and not always very warm towards the children. </p><p>And... I do believe in taking a child's perspective. I think it's important. In my better, calmer, freer moments, I do do that. But... you know.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 488154, member: 11227"] Yes, I think you are right, Buddy. I am still learning how J works on a physical level. I think he does have great sensitivity to such things. I was aware he was genuinely thirsty and wanted to "solve" the problem in some way to our mutual satisfaction but he just kept shouting "You don't want me to have a drink!" which is all he could understand about the situation in that moment. When I say he kicks and hits, he does not hurt me or do it really seriously, but for me there is this shadow of worry about him not grasping that he cannot do this. A lagging skill, definitely - and I unfortunately have my own lagging skills, I think. Bottom line is that he is, as you say, a sweet kid - very emotional and loving, affectionate. That is supposed to be typical of ADHD kids but I don't know about that, I just see it as it manifests in him. This morning he climbed into my bed and kissed me, saying he was going to be a good boy. I am going to say please and thank you all day, he announced... We were both, of course, anxious to make up and we had a nice, affectionate morning. He told me about his teacher and, with great reluctance, told me that she punishes the boys all the time and that his best friend S. told him that he is going to get a knife and cut her... This kind of imagery may well be inspired by J... He is just joking, Mummy, he said quickly. The teacher is a bit of a battleaxe really - very devoted to academic work but very strict and not always very warm towards the children. And... I do believe in taking a child's perspective. I think it's important. In my better, calmer, freer moments, I do do that. But... you know. [/QUOTE]
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