Some Manster Stuff

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ML, May 8, 2010.

  1. ML

    ML Guest

    We finally let manster quit his horse riding lessons. We all (therapist, husband and I and instructor) thought that he would push past the anxiety and fear of falling off the horse when trotting but he never did. He was losing sleep worrying and obsessing and begging not to make him go. We made him to it every other week for 8 months, I think we did pretty good. It was a fight and meltdown every time. I'm relieved.

    Next, we've had the bird a week and I think we're going to give him back. The bird doo is triggering Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) about germs and he won't play with him. He "went" on the chair and I cleaned it. But it still had a light stain and he freaked when I put his clothes on the chair. This is a very social bird and needs to have human interaction every day and frankly I don't have the time. I guess it will be easier for when we get another cat.

    But really, how fickle our kids can be.

    All for now.
     
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    ML,
    I think you did great with the horse riding and I think it's fine that you let him stop now.. I look back at all the fights and meltdowns, we dealt with easy child over karate and wonder if it was worth it. She really wanted to be in the program then after we committed (as she wanted) she lost interest. Because we were committed financially, we made her stick with it but she is one stubborn girl and it was a fight and a meltdown every time for the next two years.

    Sorry the bird isn't walking out and is causing Manster such angst. Hugs.
     
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I can see why you let Manster stop the riding lessons... he wasn't getting anything positive out of it if he was constantly fearful and anxious. Also, it sounds like the bird isn't a good fit. :(
     
  4. ML

    ML Guest

    Thanks guys. I told husband to liken the horse experience to the theory of diminishing returns. It was the right thing at the time to encourage him to work through his fears, but at this point it's clear we're getting nothing back, just making his anxiety worse.

    Yeah, I'm a bit annoyed about the bird but it's better to discover it wasn't a good fit early, before he really adjusted. Besides, a friend of mine who owns a bird shop said the bird is likely suffering psychological damage from being called "tweety" lol.

    :)
     
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I also think it is time to stop the riding lessons. If he was able to work through the fears he would have done so by now. The returns from forcing him to go sure don't seem worth the struggle. He has learned that he CAN ride a horse. He has also learned that it is not to his taste. I wonder if the manure and the possibility of falling into it was part of his fear of falling?

    As for the bird, you are a wise woman to see that it is not working out and re-home it now rather than waiting. I don't think his Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) reaction will change easily and it may trigger ever-growing fear and anxiety that simply is unnecessary and unhelpful. Our bird was much wanted by Jessie and husband. Then they BOTH refused to care for it and I just couldn't. It really was NOT fair to our bird to keep her as long as we did. It makes me happy to know she is in a better home and is learning to speak! Maybe you can touch base with the place you return her to and see how she is doing. I email the lady who now has our bird and get updates.

    These are two things you know Manster has tried and that they are not for him. Part of knowing yourself is knowing what you do not enjoy, so this is one more step to getting to figure himself out. It is OK to stop something you don't enjoy and with animals it is a kindness to re-home them if they are not a good fit for you.

    Hugs.
     
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