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<blockquote data-quote="Big Bad Kitty" data-source="post: 179217" data-attributes="member: 3647"><p>Yes, he is an insensitive jerk.</p><p></p><p>HOWEVER, you must understand that you are not going to change him. He is who he is. </p><p></p><p>That being said, you are the one who will have to make the changes. Is it more important for your kids to see their father, or for them to follow a routine? I would say that the majority of kids from broken families have a different set of rules and routines at mom's house as they do at dad's house. If their routine is that necessary, then don't let him come to your home. He is not going to change for your sake. Remember, he dated another woman for months while living with you. He was not about to change that, why should this be any different?</p><p></p><p>In the same vain, I don't know why you allow him to be at your home while it is his visitation time with your kids. He does not respect you or your rules. There is not a judge in the world who would <em>make</em> you allow him to stay there. Let him find an alternative. If he can't (or WON'T is more like it) then his kids must not be that important to him. In that case, they are probably better off not seeing him for awhile. </p><p></p><p>You do not have control over him. You DO have control over yourself and your actions. Make your actions positive ones. </p><p></p><p>Hugs for your grieving.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Big Bad Kitty, post: 179217, member: 3647"] Yes, he is an insensitive jerk. HOWEVER, you must understand that you are not going to change him. He is who he is. That being said, you are the one who will have to make the changes. Is it more important for your kids to see their father, or for them to follow a routine? I would say that the majority of kids from broken families have a different set of rules and routines at mom's house as they do at dad's house. If their routine is that necessary, then don't let him come to your home. He is not going to change for your sake. Remember, he dated another woman for months while living with you. He was not about to change that, why should this be any different? In the same vain, I don't know why you allow him to be at your home while it is his visitation time with your kids. He does not respect you or your rules. There is not a judge in the world who would [I]make[/I] you allow him to stay there. Let him find an alternative. If he can't (or WON'T is more like it) then his kids must not be that important to him. In that case, they are probably better off not seeing him for awhile. You do not have control over him. You DO have control over yourself and your actions. Make your actions positive ones. Hugs for your grieving. [/QUOTE]
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