Somebody called CPS on me and now I'm worried

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Californiablonde, Jan 16, 2015.

  1. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    difficult child was home sick yesterday and a social worker came by the house while I was at work. She knew difficult child's full name and asked if I was home. When difficult child said no the social worker gave her a phone number to have me call. I called and found out some anonymous person turned me in for having a dirty home.

    I will admit I am not the best housekeeper during the week, but I do spend every Saturday deep cleaning the apartment. difficult child does have a lot of papers around the house because she loves to draw and has lots of paints, colored pencils, and pictures in random places. Other than that, I don't know how my house could be classified as "dirty." I mop, clean counters, dishes, and vacuum.

    The social worker I spoke with accused me of having a hoarder house. That is so totally NOT true! She is coming to my home next Thursday to inspect my apartment and interview my kids. Now I am ultra paranoid of having my kids taken away. I am having my mom come over tomorrow to help me clean. I hope it's good enough. My kids were taken away from me for 18 months seven years ago and it was pure hell on me. I can't have it happen again. I need good thoughts and prayers.
     
  2. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Oh my goodness! I wish I had a clue what to say, but I can say that at least in my state it has to be unsanitary to be a problem...literally unhealthy. I've seen FSD cases where the kids had dog poo on them, or there were 12 cats in a trailer, or the food was never thrown out and was piled on cupboards...but not just clutter. Try not to panic.
     
  3. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    My mom didn't help matters by saying it looks like a drug addict's home. My mom is a super big neat freak and to her my place is disgusting. But I do swear I clean every single Saturday but maybe not to everybody else's standards.
     
  4. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    I can't imagine it's that much worse than mine. I literally don't vacuum more than once a month...if that. Jabber and I clean our church and we use our own vacuum so it ends up staying in the trunk of our car. I really can't recall the last time I swept or mopped. Every toilet in our house has a ring (at best), we have two dogs and a cat and there's hair everywhere. You can write your name on the dust on pretty much any horizontal surface.

    Apparently when you clean other places, your own house goes to Hell.

    If it's "clean" but not "neat" it still shouldn't be a problem.
     
  5. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    The key word was "hoarder".
    Get some plastic or cardboard storage boxes, and start sorting the piles into containers.
    Neatly label: daughter's paint projects, etc.
    Then stack up the containers in some relatively unobtrusive corner.

    The problem won't be "clean" - you are basically clean enough. It's the "stuff".
     
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  6. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    I agree. I think that when they say "hoarder" they're thinking of sheer amount of stuff in the house. (Which, I'm sorry, should not be a problem if it's clean, but whatever.) So yes, having things neatly sorted - a place for everything and labeled - will definitely help.
     
  7. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I think I know who called on me. Awhile ago the principal came over to my home while I was at work and confiscated difficult child's laptop because she skipped school. My boyfriend was there at the time and said the lady didn't even knock. She just barged in and came unannounced. I'm still very upset over the issue. I don't think that woman had any right to come in my home when I wasn't there. Anyway, it was probably her and now I'm really nervous. But my mom is helping me clean and organize so that should definitely help. I just hope it's good enough!
     
  8. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Dont you have 3 people living in a one bedroom apartment? Plus your boyfriend stays there some too? No wonder you have alot of stuff. I think picking up and organizing would be the best thing to do other than that a good general cleaning.
     
  9. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Huh? How does that happen? In my world, that's call theft. How does a school official "confiscate" a computer? Did it belong to the school?
     
  10. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Lil, the computer does NOT belong to the school. It's ours! That is why I was so upset. I can't believe the nerve of that woman and now this!
     
  11. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I'd have called the cops. Seriously.
    Even if it WAS a school computer, they have to take "due course of action". They can't just march in.

    Is there something strange in the water there?
     
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  12. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    I'm ... speechless. This woman walked into your home unannounced and took a piece of property? Why didn't your boyfriend call the police? Or tell her not to? I'm sorry, but if someone tried to walk into my house without knocking they'd find themselves on their backsides! Assuming Jabber didn't shoot them!

    Has she given it back? I think I'd STILL call the police.
     
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  13. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I spent 20 years living in a large city. Before and after that, I lived in a small city. I have also lived in a very small town.

    And nowhere... absolutely NOWHERE, would I consider having my door unlocked. Whether I'm inside or outside of the house... it's locked. Even with two large guard dogs in side - yes, I'm serious, and no, I'm not paranoid. I've seen too much.
     
  14. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    If I remember right this principal is the one who comes to the house to get the daughter for school when she refuses to go. I don't like the idea of her not knocking or of her taking the computer but she has been very proactive in helping CB get her daughter to school. I imagine the door was unlocked because the boyfriend was home.
     
  15. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Unless you have dog poop smeared all over t he house, CPS has no interest in your housecleaning. When I worked at Head Start, we had two people from Child Protective Services out to talk to us and they basically told us it is nearly impossible to take a child away from a parent, unless there is neglect or bruises all over the child. They talked to us at Head Start because so many of the kids who attended were obviously not well taken care of, but they could not do anything about it. If we reported that a father said he'd slap the piss out of a kid, they couldn't do anything unless the father actually DID it and we saw bruises, for example. And a kid coming to school in ragetty clothes or sandals in the winter could not get a judge to remove a child from his parent. Parents may be asked to attend parenting classes...it almost never goes further than that and maybe a social worker coming over once in a while. That's the rare exception. The judge has the final word and no judge would terminate parental rights over anything other than huge, continuous problems or sexual abuse. When you are a foster parent you learn about CPS because everyone calls CPS on you...lol.

    Cooperate with CPS. Do NOT have an attitude. Agree that you have a problem and do whatever they tell you to do. It may have to do with daughter's school attendance. I've had CPS workers walk in and say "cya" and walk out because it was clear there was nothing bad going on. My house was never clean. I had five kids at one time in a very small house. They don't care about the size of your home or if a boyfriend lives there. They are looking for abuse...sexual or physical...and neglect, as in the child is not fed. Keep nourishing food in the house. Be sure to have all the psychiatrist names and numbers handy. And don't worry. The only time they REALLY get upset is if there are allegations of sexual abuse. THAT will get them going. They also have arrogant workers, as a rule, and you have to treat them respectfully and with sincerity.

    I can not tell you how many times CPS was called on us because everyone knew we were "fosters" and everyone knows "foster mothers who take in children of color" are THAT kind of foster mom...all we care about is a the HUGE paycheck we get from the State and we abuse all our kids, making them slaves. We became friendly with a few workers and were on a first name basis. If you have nothing to hide, just cooperate and act like you have nothing to hide. Most CPS calls are unfounded.
     
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  16. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Thank you, Midwest Mom. You helped me feel better.
     
  17. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    I'm sure it won't turn into anything. MWM has very sound advice and speaks from her own experience. I know it's easier said than done but try not worry about it.
    Keeping good thoughts for you.
     
  18. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    The principal would have been arrested for breaking and entering as well as theft. You need to keep your mother out of your business. If you have cats, the smell can be overwhelming. I have one in a large home, and the smell when I get home from work, can be nasty even though it is cleaned twice a day.
     
  19. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    There is that. People do go "nose-blind" to smells they are around all the time. I'd get a new covered cat box and multi-cat scoopable litter before she arrives. We have one cat, accidentally bought multi-cat litter once. Best mistake ever. We buy the cheapest "Special Kitty" or one of those brands, of multi-cat all the time now. Clean with something that smells lemony. Organize the clutter. Things should be fine.
     
  20. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Are you in a 1 bedroom with 2 children not of the same gender? If so, that COULD be an enormous problem. Depending on where you live, you may be required to have a separate bedroom for boys and girls. If the sw finds out your boyfriend stays overnight in a 1 bedroom with both of your kids, it could also be an issue. NOT because you are dating, just that there can be no privacy in that situation. I only am aware of this because a friend's ex tried to have joint custody but was in a big open retail space that he had partitioned into a big open living area and a single bedroom. He was not allowed to have joint custody mostly because he had 2 boys and 1 girl and he had a girlfriend who was there with them also. No privacy was a huge problem and so was living in a retail space not zoned for it. The zoning could have been overlooked, but the kids needed privacy and boys and girls could not share a bedroom.

    I thought you were in at least a 2bdr, and if so that is likely not a problem.

    Right now don't worry about sorting stuff. Get it into boxes stacked in an out of the way place or a cheap storage unit if you can. Label the boxes however you want if t makes you feel more organized. Make a plan to go through a certain number of boxes a week so that you get the stuff organized, but you likely don't have time for that now. Just put it in boxes and sort it later. That will help with the 'hoarder look' that apparently is part f the complaint.

    As for the principal, you need to discuss the situation. Did she really just walk in with-o knocking? Did she take private property without asking you or having your permission first? Did the two of you talk about taking the computer away if difficult child missed school again? If there was no such agreement, what on earth was she thinking by stealing the computer? If she claims there was an agreement, does she have it in writing that she could barge into your home with-o knocking and take your property?

    You need to see an atty about that. It was highly illegal for her to do this with-o permission from you. If you did agree to remove the computer if difficult child missed school again, did you agree to allow HER to remove it or say that you would? Why would she not have you give permission in writing if she did get your permission to do this? You might actually be able to sue both the principal and the district for this theft, but you should speak to an atty before you speak to anyone at the school about this. FYI, I don't think you gave her permission to do this, but I can see her claiming that you did. Which is why I asked if she got permission in writing. If I was going to do a theft, I would get permission in writing from the homeowner before I even got into my car to go over there. ANY not-stupid person would because the situation SCREAMS "Shoot me or call the cops because I am a burglar!!" At least in my state the shooting would likely happen. And probably be considered defending your castle from an intruder! Won't say that is good, or bad, just that it IS.
     
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