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Somebody please tell me
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 352933" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>DDD- I think you are right about that- I think it goes alnog with the temptation for sunstance abuse and the whole 9 yards.</p><p></p><p>skeeter- PO does know about difficult child's violations. (There have been several preevious posts about this- it would have been hard for someone to keep up with them all so maybe you didn't see catch all that transpired last week??) He hasn't violated since last weekend (not that a week is a long time) but PO and I talked Mon and Tues to discuss these things and then I took difficult child in on Wed and he was violated. So when difficult child started talking about this girl yesterday my mind automatically went to "OMG, I hope there isn't more to this story". But no, he has not snuck out again- and I do want to be sure about that and that is why I'm staying up late at nights.</p><p></p><p>If difficult child stays compliant until the middle of next week, PO has said he will probably take him off house arrest and give him a 6:00 curfew. Then we will watch and see how he handles that little bit of freedom- does he use the time for drugs, sex, or planning to sneak out in the middle of the night or does he use the time to socialize and use the word "no" to his friends when these opportunities come up.</p><p></p><p>I am worried that he continues to break rules. I just don't want to have to worry about becoming a grandmother right now on top of all the other worries. And we are trying to guide difficult child (as much as his defiant butt will allow) not to a "all or nothing" situation, but more by telling him if he handles a small amount of freedom appropriately, hee will get more. As he works his way thru that process, (if he does), he will be allowed to start dating girls his age, appropriately, and do more typical teen things. It's not that he violated yesterday- he didn't- he was opening up and talking to me which is good however the way he was talking was more like the way he'd talk to guys he was in Department of Juvenile Justice with. I guess it's undersstandable given that he spent so much time with no alternative but to hear him last night, it sounded like he wouldn't make it 1 month without violating again. Right now, the question is "is he teetering between right and wrong" or "is he still plowing down the wrong path and anything that sounds like a good choice is manipulation and justification". Actions speak louder than words- that's all we have to go by.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 352933, member: 3699"] DDD- I think you are right about that- I think it goes alnog with the temptation for sunstance abuse and the whole 9 yards. skeeter- PO does know about difficult child's violations. (There have been several preevious posts about this- it would have been hard for someone to keep up with them all so maybe you didn't see catch all that transpired last week??) He hasn't violated since last weekend (not that a week is a long time) but PO and I talked Mon and Tues to discuss these things and then I took difficult child in on Wed and he was violated. So when difficult child started talking about this girl yesterday my mind automatically went to "OMG, I hope there isn't more to this story". But no, he has not snuck out again- and I do want to be sure about that and that is why I'm staying up late at nights. If difficult child stays compliant until the middle of next week, PO has said he will probably take him off house arrest and give him a 6:00 curfew. Then we will watch and see how he handles that little bit of freedom- does he use the time for drugs, sex, or planning to sneak out in the middle of the night or does he use the time to socialize and use the word "no" to his friends when these opportunities come up. I am worried that he continues to break rules. I just don't want to have to worry about becoming a grandmother right now on top of all the other worries. And we are trying to guide difficult child (as much as his defiant butt will allow) not to a "all or nothing" situation, but more by telling him if he handles a small amount of freedom appropriately, hee will get more. As he works his way thru that process, (if he does), he will be allowed to start dating girls his age, appropriately, and do more typical teen things. It's not that he violated yesterday- he didn't- he was opening up and talking to me which is good however the way he was talking was more like the way he'd talk to guys he was in Department of Juvenile Justice with. I guess it's undersstandable given that he spent so much time with no alternative but to hear him last night, it sounded like he wouldn't make it 1 month without violating again. Right now, the question is "is he teetering between right and wrong" or "is he still plowing down the wrong path and anything that sounds like a good choice is manipulation and justification". Actions speak louder than words- that's all we have to go by. [/QUOTE]
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