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Someone tell me what to do...world fell apart tonight
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<blockquote data-quote="FlowerGarden" data-source="post: 499726" data-attributes="member: 3068"><p>I am sorry you are going through all of this. We had my alcoholic brother in law living with us when we first got married. It was not planned but he lost his job a couple of months before the wedding. It was horrible. I had it the opposite way, he would stay in his room with the door closed. I would never know if he was home or not. He slept all the time, too, and would not hear me knock. I could not do what I wanted to do in my own home. Felt uncomfortable wearing certain clothing if he was around, etc. </p><p></p><p>Many times I came home from work for lunch and would find that he ate what I planned to have. I wound up having to have toast at times. At night, after we went to bed, he would make himself dinner. He would be banging the pots and pans around and setting off the smoke detector at times. Some nights I couldn't sleep and would get up to get a drink and to watch some tv. I couldn't because I would find he had fallen asleep on the couch watching tv. This went on for 2 months.</p><p></p><p>Luckily, husband was on my side and told him it was rehab or move out. He moved out. He kept trying to sneak back but husband stood his ground. Eventually, he did go to rehab. Working with the rehab, we agreed to allow him to come to dinner one night a week and worked up to letting him stay with us on the weekend. I still felt I couldn't do what I wanted to in my own home but did it for a year. Then I told husband we had to stop. He needed to move on to the next step.</p><p></p><p>My story has a happy ending because he has not touched alcohol for 26 1/2 years, has gotten better and better jobs, and got married late in life.</p><p>Unfortunately, I have no advice. Just hugs and understanding. I told you this story to show how I know what you mean about having him there....how much it bothers you. I know your pain. I wish you well with figuring this out with Tony.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="FlowerGarden, post: 499726, member: 3068"] I am sorry you are going through all of this. We had my alcoholic brother in law living with us when we first got married. It was not planned but he lost his job a couple of months before the wedding. It was horrible. I had it the opposite way, he would stay in his room with the door closed. I would never know if he was home or not. He slept all the time, too, and would not hear me knock. I could not do what I wanted to do in my own home. Felt uncomfortable wearing certain clothing if he was around, etc. Many times I came home from work for lunch and would find that he ate what I planned to have. I wound up having to have toast at times. At night, after we went to bed, he would make himself dinner. He would be banging the pots and pans around and setting off the smoke detector at times. Some nights I couldn't sleep and would get up to get a drink and to watch some tv. I couldn't because I would find he had fallen asleep on the couch watching tv. This went on for 2 months. Luckily, husband was on my side and told him it was rehab or move out. He moved out. He kept trying to sneak back but husband stood his ground. Eventually, he did go to rehab. Working with the rehab, we agreed to allow him to come to dinner one night a week and worked up to letting him stay with us on the weekend. I still felt I couldn't do what I wanted to in my own home but did it for a year. Then I told husband we had to stop. He needed to move on to the next step. My story has a happy ending because he has not touched alcohol for 26 1/2 years, has gotten better and better jobs, and got married late in life. Unfortunately, I have no advice. Just hugs and understanding. I told you this story to show how I know what you mean about having him there....how much it bothers you. I know your pain. I wish you well with figuring this out with Tony. [/QUOTE]
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