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Something I don't understand
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 475130" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Yes, that's interesting, lovelyboy. Thanks for sharing your experience. I have read "The Explosive Child", but of course reading and understanding one thing, consistently applying is another... </p><p>It is very hard not to take the aggressiveness and abusiveness (I don't think that's too strong a word for it) personally, especially as I have trauma in my background. My responsibility to work on that one, de-fin-it-el-y... Something about a small male shouting horrible things (well, horrible 4 year old things) at me does push buttons for me, no doubt about it. He is very sophisticated in his rages, knowing just the right thing to say to hurt, and it feels like a completely different being from the innocent, adorable being who comes cuddling up to me and who is clearly so needing and wanting affection. </p><p>I do consciously have quality time with J as he spends a lot of time away from me. We talk a lot and I try to give him my full attention when we are together. Always ask him what he did in the day and what he enjoyed most! He likes to tell me about it all, though often remembers things in a rather strange way... <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 475130, member: 11227"] Yes, that's interesting, lovelyboy. Thanks for sharing your experience. I have read "The Explosive Child", but of course reading and understanding one thing, consistently applying is another... It is very hard not to take the aggressiveness and abusiveness (I don't think that's too strong a word for it) personally, especially as I have trauma in my background. My responsibility to work on that one, de-fin-it-el-y... Something about a small male shouting horrible things (well, horrible 4 year old things) at me does push buttons for me, no doubt about it. He is very sophisticated in his rages, knowing just the right thing to say to hurt, and it feels like a completely different being from the innocent, adorable being who comes cuddling up to me and who is clearly so needing and wanting affection. I do consciously have quality time with J as he spends a lot of time away from me. We talk a lot and I try to give him my full attention when we are together. Always ask him what he did in the day and what he enjoyed most! He likes to tell me about it all, though often remembers things in a rather strange way... :) [/QUOTE]
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