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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 606865" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Oh boy, I so know how you feel. I went crazy trying to set up resources for my daughter, amazing resources which would have kept her safe and fed and even back in college...............she did nothing. She was belligerent, she was entitled...........I was heartbroken, disappointed, angry, resentful, sad...........I was a mess. I did EVERYTHING and MORE until I was completely depleted. difficult child? She went blithely on her way, same as always. </p><p></p><p>One day, driving home from the jail, after spending days trying to get her car out of impound and just writing check after check and crying in the car, SO says, "You know, it's like you and difficult child are in a row boat filling up with water, you are frantically, desperately plugging up the holes....................while difficult child keeps drilling new ones." I still recall exactly where we were, on what road, what the scenery looked like, how I felt, crying, desperate, scared..................and then I saw that he was right. It didn't matter how many holes I plugged up, she was ALWAYS going to be drilling new ones. That was when I began to stop. It was a completely futile adventure. It goes nowhere. </p><p></p><p>My difficult child has survived without me, without any help from me. In fact, she is in the exact same place she was in before I began helping her. Nothing has changed. Except me. I have my life back. </p><p></p><p>Take your life back JKF. You've done enough. Sending you many hugs. I know how you feel.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 606865, member: 13542"] Oh boy, I so know how you feel. I went crazy trying to set up resources for my daughter, amazing resources which would have kept her safe and fed and even back in college...............she did nothing. She was belligerent, she was entitled...........I was heartbroken, disappointed, angry, resentful, sad...........I was a mess. I did EVERYTHING and MORE until I was completely depleted. difficult child? She went blithely on her way, same as always. One day, driving home from the jail, after spending days trying to get her car out of impound and just writing check after check and crying in the car, SO says, "You know, it's like you and difficult child are in a row boat filling up with water, you are frantically, desperately plugging up the holes....................while difficult child keeps drilling new ones." I still recall exactly where we were, on what road, what the scenery looked like, how I felt, crying, desperate, scared..................and then I saw that he was right. It didn't matter how many holes I plugged up, she was ALWAYS going to be drilling new ones. That was when I began to stop. It was a completely futile adventure. It goes nowhere. My difficult child has survived without me, without any help from me. In fact, she is in the exact same place she was in before I began helping her. Nothing has changed. Except me. I have my life back. Take your life back JKF. You've done enough. Sending you many hugs. I know how you feel. [/QUOTE]
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