Something is wrong with my back. Not sure what is up

[flutterby]

Janet, you told me a while back that your records said you have Ankylosing Spondylitis. That is more than just arthritis of the back.

http://www.spondylitis.org/

By the way, you sound just like me. After just a couple of minutes, I am sweating and panting from pain, and it feels like a hot poker has been stuck in my SI joint and left. Lower back burns, too, but not as severe. I hobble like an old woman over to a chair.

 

[Hound dog]

Janet there is no excuse when there are two other able bodied adults in the house for you to have to do any sort of work when you're in as much pain as you're in. I'm glad you're pinning Billy's ears back and drawing that line. It's high time.

That would be like me expecting husband to come home and mow the yard. sheesh Or me expecting Travis to mow the yard because he can maneuver his way around the house. But since there is no way husband is going to be up to that sort of physical exertion anytime in the near future and I'd rather Travis keep his limbs.......looks like I'll be mowing and weeding and ect.

I hope they can get you in quickly.

Hugs

 

[DammitJanet]

Have no idea if you can see what I wrote on FB to him but I laid into him. I basically said that we had to have a talk about what it meant when I said wash the dishes.. That meant clean the kitchen including washing all the pots, pans, silverware, and wiping down the countertops and taking out the trash. It didnt mean just washing two measly plates that were in the sink and moving the pots and pans out of the sink and leaving everything everything else like he did. He also needed to figure out what he needed to fix for dinner that night if he was working all day because I wasnt going to be up all day. They have told me to stay down as much as possible because getting up could cause permanent damage. I was also told to increase my medications. This was on him now because his job is easy compared to Tony who leaves at 4;30 AM and gets home at 7;45 PM. Also tony is going out of town thursday.

All I am asking Billy to do is stuff he should do is stuff he should have to in his own place actually. Plus maybe pick up a few groceries for me from time to time which he really resents, especially if its something like soda or something sweet. He mocks me then and says I dont need it. Trust me, he has no room to talk. He weighs more than I do.

 

[susiestar]

Janet, It is time Billy got a real Witch slap. How close are you to Star and can we get her there to do it? I am not close enough and don't really drive much if I can avoid it.

Billy better get that attitude adjusted real fast or I am going to reach right through this wireless internet connection, grab him by the tender bits and teach him what a real woman does for discipline. The grab, twist and pull method is what I mean.

NO WAY are you going to TOLERATE him talking to you like that. In the short time you CAN stand, go find the fuses and remove the one for his room. Just remove the electricity that he powers his precious computer on until he shapes up. Or else tell him to hit the road AFTER he pays for the home health care aid that you NEED.

I am WAY past furious at this one. PM me his phone number or yours and I will call and let the boy know what he COULD be facing.

What does his GIRLFRIEND think of the way he treats his mom? Most women I know would not tolerate that of their man unless the mom was some hideously abusive witch. And we ALL know you are NOT.

You stay off your feet. Tell Billy that he can either step up or shell out HIS OWN BUCKS to pay for your care like you paid to support him for all the years he has been a GROWN MAN.

IIf you have ankylosing spondylitis you have one heck of a lot more going on than arthritis and anyone who told you different is Daffy Duck. With ankylosing spond your BONES FUSE TOGETHER. YES - YOUR VERTEBRAE GROW TOGETHER and it hurts like hades and has a LOT of complications. You should have been put on very gentle range of motion exercises at the first sign of it. I was given this diagnosis by a doctor who was a total quack - he actually falsified xrays with my name and someone else's bones on it - we learned that years later. What I had was rheumatoid arthritis, fibro and psoriatic arthritis plus some other junk that goes along with it. But the range of motion exercises (stretching - super gently at first and NEVER in a harsh way) that I learned way back as a teen got me quite a few more usable years of my carpy body.

You stay in your bed. If Billy gets upset - you let me know. And you let CORY know how Billy is treating you. I bet that Cory won't tolerate it - he remembers how sick you were a few years ago and doesn't want you getting anywhere near that way again. And you could face that with spinal problems - there is NO WAY to know what the damage would be of you forcing your way through doing dishes.

I am sending hugs (super gentle), love and my discipline stick to whomp Billy with (and anyone else who is bugging you and not catering to your every whim!)

 

[DammitJanet]

Billy is now quite irritated with me because I posted my wish list to him publicly on his FB wall. I was not nasty at all either. I just sent a nice note saying what I needed done from now on. I covered with...well, I sent it in the middle of the night with the lights off and thought I hit the message button. They are close. I said I dont use FB much and thought you could only post a certain number of characters on the wall like twitter...lol.

Hell I dont know what his girlfriend thinks. He cant get much in contact with her anymore because her almost ex is being an ass or so she says. I dont know if I believe everything that she is telling him or not. I think part of the reason he doesnt have much money is he has been sending her money for stuff. Cell phone bills and stuff. Not completely sure but I know he said something about it once.

I do know that Tony got me extra easy to eat food last night. Things I can go out one time and bring into my room and keep them there for the day. I took double medications last night and this morning. I am hoping it helps with the pain but I still know I am not going to be up and moving around because I dont want to risk hurting myself further. I hate the fact that I dont look any different so Billy just wants to assume I am fine or playing sick. If my leg was in a cast or I was spurting blood or something else, well you can see that. But heck, no one did much different even when I was in the hospital or when I came out to be honest. I came home to a completely filthy house. Im really surprised they didnt do a home inspection to make sure I could get around in my home okay. They wouldnt let me out of the hospital without being able to get up and down steps or get in and out of a car. Why not check to make sure my house was safe?

 

[InsaneCdn]

Janet -
There are two things that NOBODY understands... unless you are there or have been there.
Those are: pain, and fatigue.
You and I know what BOTH of those are like.
{{hugs}}

Its horrible as an adult - and 100x times worse for a kid. Teachers - and for many kids, their parents - assume that is just an excuse, because they can't "see" the problem.

 

[Hound dog]

Insane is right, as we both know.

But it still doesn't excuse it. As you said, Billy would be doing most of this stuff (hopefully) if he lived on his own anyway, you're not really asking him to go above and beyond. If he doesn't like it there is an easily solution, he can move out, where he'll still have to do the same things for himself or live in a stye. And if he moves it's one less stresser on you and less mess.

I rarely have issues with Travis helping me with stuff and I'm not anywhere near as down physically as you are. He lives in the home, just because he's grown doesn't mean that's a free ride. Actually the opposite is true.

Of course that is what irritates us so much with how he treats you. There is just no excuse, even if you were perfectly well and able bodied. That boy (and I say boy cuz he acts like one) needs a severe attitude adjustment. I think if he attitude doesn't become pleasant and helpful fairly quickly I'd give him his move out date regardless of what's going on with the girlfriend. She's his problem, not yours.

But as for the girlfriend I've been wondering for a while now if she's scamming him. Aspies tend to Obsess sometimes instead of love......or maybe it would be better to put it as obsessive love? Which leaves them wide open for all sorts of scams and mistreatment by the wrong person. husband was that way with his 1st "love". It carried on for well over 20 some years even after marrying other people. I think I'd actually stroke if I knew the actual amount of money he's handed over to this woman over the years, not to mention other things he's done for her. She'd wag her finger and he'd react like a well trained dog, I swear. Doesn't surprise me because he does the same thing with me, only I don't treat him that way. Was she ever serious with husband? No. She used him whenever she grew tired of dealing with her husband or when she needed something. I think the woman must have died or something as she's not been an issue for about 5 yrs or so. I sort of wonder (and worry) that maybe Billy has gotten caught up in such a relationship with this girl. Travis has got a girl that he does the same thing with and has since his sophmore year in hs.....now she doesn't use him or anything, she's actually a pretty nice girl.....but he's so caught up with her that while she's going on and living her life he can't / won't consider anyone else. So I'm thinking it's a autism thing, at least with some of them. Know what I mean??