Something strange is going on...

[nvts]

Got a phone call from our bank that has our mortgage asking for husband (aka "AH"). I said that I was his wife and could answer any questions about the house/mortgage. The gentleman responded that it was about the loan application that was submitted and since I wasn't on it, he couldn't talk to me.

Hmmmmm....

 

[hearts and roses]

Omg, red flags and fireworks going off in my head!!! You need to talk with H. I hope it's not identity theft either.

A co-worker of mine took out a line of credit on his house for his son to go to college and a little extra for "emergencies". Turns out his wife took $3000 of it and booked herself and the kids and "friend" on a cruise and left him home. Then she took out a little more and bought herself a new wardrobe. My co-worker really has no legal recourse because both of their names are on the line of credit.

If your name is on the original mortgage, I think there are rules that would prevent your H from taking out a line of credit against your equity without your consent. Something doesn't sound right about this. I hope it's nothing.

 

[nvts]

I'm watching from afar. I don't think it's any kind of identity theft - he asked me for the monthly bill amounts, etc. a while ago - I've been sitting on the bills figuring that something wasn't quite right so I'm not even letting him see the amount that I pay via the credit union (changed the online password on THAT account! Moooohahaha!).

This is like my own personal game of Survivor (outwit, outlast, outplay). I WILL WIN - THERE IS NO OPTION!!!

me

 

[hearts and roses]

(changed the online password on THAT account! Moooohahaha!).

This is like my own personal game of Survivor (outwit, outlast, outplay). I WILL WIN - THERE IS NO OPTION!!!

Hahahahaha - lololol, oh thank you for the laugh! And good luck. H's can be such weiners.

 

[KTMom91]

I would be most curious to know why a loan app was needed...

 

[klmno]

I must have missed some previous info about you suspecting something I'm not privy to. This news you just rec'd doesn't sound too good but I tend to think like someone else said- if both your names are on the original loan, it's going to take both your names to modify it or something. But a review of your state law on marital proprty might not hurt. Of course if there is a chance of identity theft, that's a different story- I'd want to find that out asap if it was me.

 

[Shari]

Can I come kick his butt???

I have a lot of pent up aggression and I need a good AH to take it out on. Toying with theh garbage bill is getting old.

 

[tiredmommy]

I'd be very wary that he's attempting to raid the equity in your home, particularly in light of your marital problems....

 

[gcvmom]

Ditto what TM said. I'd also call the primary lender on your mortgage (since you are on THAT loan) and ask what his/your rights are with regard to taking any additional loans out on the property and if it has to be done jointly since the primary loan is a joint one.

I cannot abide sneakiness in a marriage. Ugh. I handle all our finances, but husband can ask me anything about anything and I will gladly show him. In fact, I wish he took more of an interest in things so I didn't feel like all the pressure was on me for decision-making.

 

[nvts]

Oh I already checked - nothing can be done with the mortgage unless I sign nor can it be used as collateral for another loan. If he was able to get an unsecured loan he'd have to have me as a co-signer if he wanted me to be at all responsible for any of it if there was a divorce.

At this point, I'm being careful about even signing the kids test papers.

I must reiterate: I will win - there is no option!

Klmno: we've been on the rocky road to Dublin with the marriage for quite a while. I'm now at the end of my rope - I don't care if he stays or goes - it'll be less laundry if he goes. I'm tired of the passive aggressive b.s. as well as the "I don't know how I feel" bit. As far as I'm concerned the writing's on the wall. If he loved me he wouldn't be jerking me around so much - so if you don't love me then go! I can turn my feelings on and off like a faucet if I have to -

So in a nutshell, it's pretty messed up around here right now - I don't know where we stand and it's pretty obvious to the kids. Whatever.

me

 

[Steely]

Good grief!!!! So sorry. You are being super strong - and I have no doubt that you will win!!!

 

[klmno]

I think I'd call an attny- heck- post on the craigslilst area for legal questions in your state- but find out about how marital property is viewed. My concern is about the equity in the house- not the primary mortgage- make sure he can't borrow against the equity on his own and then if he maxed it out, you would not get any of it if God forbid, this leads to the house having to be sold to cover HIS debts.

In some states, one partner can get a credit card, alone, but both spouses are responsible for the debt., I think. In some states, it's not at all looked at that way.

 

[Shari]

Mo is a state as KLMNO describes.

The divorce decree can order one person to pay it, but if they don't, the creditor will still go after the other. (experience speaking...), so do be careful.

DEX didn't have enuf taxes taken out of his check towards the end of our marriage and after we split. Guess who paid that.