Somethin's up with my easy child...

[lovemysons]

No, not my computer, lol...my daughter.

Yesterday easy child came to me and told me that she had gone over to her girlfriend's house and was there at 5:30 in the morning, before her girlfriend went to work and was just... "cuddled up with her" when girlfriend's mother walked into the bedroom.

easy child asked me to call the mom and talk to her because the mom was no longer going to allow my easy child to have anything to do with her daughter until we talked.

Well, I made the call and gotta say I got the strangest of questions asked of me as soon as I gave my name. The mom wanted to know my date of birth...okay. It seems she works for the jail or something like that and has access to records. She wanted to have "proof" that it was really me calling her and not someone else. Interesting.

Well, she went on to voice her concerns about the two of them being gay...she said she didn't have a problem with this though my easy child tells me differently. She said she was very concerned about the girls spending the night with each other...which they hadn't but easy child was over at her house early in the AM "cuddling".
I DID give the mom my number and told her she could call me anytime.

Well, easy child told me that sometime after that call that her girlfriend broke up with her so that she didn't have to deal with her mom so much. Her girlfriend also said that she was grounded. Then easy child told me she was going to go to the bowling alley to meet up with old friends/make new friends...

Sooo, at around 8:30 I called easy child to see how she was, where she was...she told me she was on her way home and asked me if I had been contacted by the police or girlfriend's mom. easy child told me that her girlfriend had run away. I told easy child, "No, I haven't gotten any calls from police or girlfriend's mom".

Anyway...easy child did come home, I didn't see her walk in but found her blow drying her hair in her room. Something didn't seem right and I don't know what it is...I think that maybe easy child "knows" where her girlfriend is or even gave her a ride somewhere. I just get the feeling something is up. Plus, this morning at 7:30am easy child is not in her room and her car is gone...she rarely goes to school that early.

Anyway, just sharing this situation that I "think" has more going on with it then I currently know. Hmmmm, what is easy child up to???

Tammy

 

[gcvmom]

Our instincts are usually right about our kids. You probably are right that there's more to this story than she is telling. She needs to be careful that she is not getting herself into trouble by helping this other girl. I hope things settle down soon.

 

[hearts and roses]

Yes, my antenna would be waaaaay up also! She may know where the girlfriend is and likely helping the difficult child avoid seeing or talking to her mom. Sad. I hope it works out for her (and your easy child). Without prying, you could just issue a standard warning to your easy child about how her helping is one thing - putting herself between girlfriend and her mom is another. If the girlfriend is under 18, it could turn into a legal entanglement she would rather not be a part of and the mom could take things to the extreme if she's that way. I cannot believe she asked you for your birth date so she could look you up in their police files. That is strange and I don't know that I would have remained on the phone with her after that. I hope things work out.

 

[lovemysons]

Yep, I'm gonna remind easy child of what you said gvcmom and Jo, that helping her is one thing getting inbetween her and her mother another...and like you said possible legal ramifications.

Jo, the mother does sound VERY controlling from all easy child has told me. According to easy child, the girlfriend's brother is the perfect child...the girlfriend, not so much, because she is gay. easy child says this really bothers the mother. In fact, easy child said the mother didn't really believe easy child when easy child told her that my husband and I know about our easy child being gay. Of course, my husband has sort of a "don't ask don't tell" policy with our easy child. He has certain religious/conservative beliefs that go against it. easy child can really only talk to me about the gay issue.
by the way, easy child recently told me about a club at school called "hugs" (helping unite gays and straights) that she attended. I'm so glad she can talk to me

I was taken aback for a sec by the mom asking for my date of birth...that was a first! I'm thinking this mom could really use an Al Anon meeting, lol...she's wound tight.

I'm gonna talk to my easy child this afternoon and remind her that mamma's have these "gut feelings" for a reason and that they're usually Not Wrong. We'll see what she has to say.

Tammy

 

[Lothlorien]

I don't know about your state, but it is illegal for someone in law enforcement to look up someone, just for their own ratification. If she does look you up, there should be all kinds of ramifications on her for doing so. Nowadays, you need a case file # to look someone up.

If she is wound that tight, perhaps easy child should just stay clear of the girl. This mother could lose her cool and do something harmful to easy child or pay off someone else to do it......like someone who was released from the jail she works at. I would certainly be leery.

 

[mrscatinthehat]

Hope all is well with you and your easy child. I just got to reading this and I would have all sorts of warning lights and such up.

beth

 

[Abbey]

First of all, I'm in an odd way old-fashioned. (I know that's hard to believe.) We were NEVER allowed to have a boyfriend/girlfriend in our bedroom. If I found my easy child's girlfriend in his bedroom at 5am...NOT GOOD.

girlfriend's mom is a whack job. Steer clear.

Abbey

 

[busywend]

You do know that girlfriend spent the night at your house last night, right? That is what my gut is telling me.
I do not know why easy child was at their house at 5:30 in the morning snuggling in the bedroom - seems inappropriate to me. If this was a boy how would you be reacting?

 

[lovemysons]

Yes...I see yalls' point. It WASN't appropriate behavior for my easy child to be over at her girlfriend's at 5:30 in the am. I suppose I'm pretty lenient where easy child concerned...cause she really is such a good girl. Goes to school everyday, makes good grades...DOESN"T USE DRUGS, lol. I just tend to see the best in easy child I think...plus she went through so much trauma for years having difficult child brothers. Anything she does that's alittle "off" doesn't even pale in comparison to what her brothers did or put our household through, ya know.

As it stands they are broken up and easy child said that another friend told her that the now "ex girlfriend" went back home...so that's good.

I guess I need to look alittle more closely at easy child's behavior. Talk to her about going to anyone's house at 5:30 in the morning to snuggle etc...cause yall are right, it's inappropriate.

Thanks for your input.
Tammy