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Sometimes I feel like such a monster
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 486370" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Jules, i think that is what a plan with the school will do. Since he has adhd, he will qualify for a 504 plan and the kinds of things Janet recommended are exactly the appropriate things to put in it. He is only ...near 11, and it is just the time to really start learning to be organized etc. He clearly needs more support and it can really hurt a parenting relationship to have to deal with the problem after the fact. If they dont have the skills and they are used to failure, then even when they can do some of it they may just not try. Time to start over, clean slate, give them the benefit of the doubt by setting up a plan. IF with that support and reinforcing the right things, then you can think about an occasional consequence... (as you have seen, continual consequences like that lose their effectiveness) but I think personally it is important to try to see if there are ways to approach this from skill building/positive behavior plan mode. Even if he is doing some of it thru pure laziness, it is likely to be from long time not doing well anyway. Taking some of it off of you....should help, and you can then just do more of what typical parents do, monitor the homework lists, help with some of it, etc. Not having to arrange all of it and turn it in, etc.... (again, just ideas, may not apply, you know your kids)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 486370, member: 12886"] Jules, i think that is what a plan with the school will do. Since he has adhd, he will qualify for a 504 plan and the kinds of things Janet recommended are exactly the appropriate things to put in it. He is only ...near 11, and it is just the time to really start learning to be organized etc. He clearly needs more support and it can really hurt a parenting relationship to have to deal with the problem after the fact. If they dont have the skills and they are used to failure, then even when they can do some of it they may just not try. Time to start over, clean slate, give them the benefit of the doubt by setting up a plan. IF with that support and reinforcing the right things, then you can think about an occasional consequence... (as you have seen, continual consequences like that lose their effectiveness) but I think personally it is important to try to see if there are ways to approach this from skill building/positive behavior plan mode. Even if he is doing some of it thru pure laziness, it is likely to be from long time not doing well anyway. Taking some of it off of you....should help, and you can then just do more of what typical parents do, monitor the homework lists, help with some of it, etc. Not having to arrange all of it and turn it in, etc.... (again, just ideas, may not apply, you know your kids) [/QUOTE]
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