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General Parenting
Sometimes I just hate being a grown up
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 466157" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Do NOT assume you would have heard about problems in the past. There are a TON of people who are pedophiles and hide it well or teach people that they are just "super nice" so whatever they do is okay. Don't assume he doesn't have a record - it just may not be in the area where he lives. </p><p></p><p>The times a parent makes the BIG mistakes, the ones that have huge impact on their kids and on themselves, are when they ignore those gut feelings. Even if I didn't see HUGE red flags in what you said, the fact that you are uncomfortable with the situation is enough to tell the man to stay away. If your dad won't tell him to leave, and won't let you? Tell him you won't visit at his home. It won't be easy for him, but your children's protector and mother is your primary role at this stage in your life. Your dad's daughter was a primary role when you were a child, but you have more important jobs right now and you MUST put those first. It isn't easy, but it is the right thing to do.</p><p></p><p>This guy sounds scary creepy, mostly because he probably seems so nice. Giving a small item that you picked up for cheap to a neighbor's granddau, even if that person is not a super close friend isn't a big deal. Giving heirloom jewelry, regardless of monetary value, to the neighbor's grandkid that you see 2x a year, is creepy scary. That is called grooming. the things he says to you are called grooming. He KNOWS that other people find it wrong and that is why he was telling you what he did - that he is a good guy, wouln't hurt her, just wants to hold her against him for a long time for a "hug". in my opinion that is a dead giveaway and if your instincts were not screaming I would wonder if something was really wrong with your instincts. </p><p></p><p>Your dad and mom can put him off for the time you are there. You will handle it well, and if he insists on coming over, take the girls and go to the store, the beach, a movie, whatever. I would keep a bag ready so you can go somewhere with-o taking much time. Let your mom and dad know you will return when he is gone, and if they don't help you with this then they will have to visit the kids at your home instead of theirs. I doubt it will come to that if they know you won't change your mind. Don't take this man's calls anymore. The more you listen to him, the more he will feel he has a right to see your daus.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 466157, member: 1233"] Do NOT assume you would have heard about problems in the past. There are a TON of people who are pedophiles and hide it well or teach people that they are just "super nice" so whatever they do is okay. Don't assume he doesn't have a record - it just may not be in the area where he lives. The times a parent makes the BIG mistakes, the ones that have huge impact on their kids and on themselves, are when they ignore those gut feelings. Even if I didn't see HUGE red flags in what you said, the fact that you are uncomfortable with the situation is enough to tell the man to stay away. If your dad won't tell him to leave, and won't let you? Tell him you won't visit at his home. It won't be easy for him, but your children's protector and mother is your primary role at this stage in your life. Your dad's daughter was a primary role when you were a child, but you have more important jobs right now and you MUST put those first. It isn't easy, but it is the right thing to do. This guy sounds scary creepy, mostly because he probably seems so nice. Giving a small item that you picked up for cheap to a neighbor's granddau, even if that person is not a super close friend isn't a big deal. Giving heirloom jewelry, regardless of monetary value, to the neighbor's grandkid that you see 2x a year, is creepy scary. That is called grooming. the things he says to you are called grooming. He KNOWS that other people find it wrong and that is why he was telling you what he did - that he is a good guy, wouln't hurt her, just wants to hold her against him for a long time for a "hug". in my opinion that is a dead giveaway and if your instincts were not screaming I would wonder if something was really wrong with your instincts. Your dad and mom can put him off for the time you are there. You will handle it well, and if he insists on coming over, take the girls and go to the store, the beach, a movie, whatever. I would keep a bag ready so you can go somewhere with-o taking much time. Let your mom and dad know you will return when he is gone, and if they don't help you with this then they will have to visit the kids at your home instead of theirs. I doubt it will come to that if they know you won't change your mind. Don't take this man's calls anymore. The more you listen to him, the more he will feel he has a right to see your daus. [/QUOTE]
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