Son coming home from rehab tonight

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by worried sick mother, May 16, 2016.

  1. worried sick mother

    worried sick mother Active Member

    My son has been gone to rehab for 54 days after I performed an intervention. His counselor tells me that he has done wonderful working the program. I've had very little contact with him since he's been gone. We have had 3 phone counseling sessions with his counselor. He didn't seem grateful or to be taking responsibility for his drug use in my opinion. He even said that he used drugs because I was accusing him of using drugs so he just started using. Like I just out of the blue decided to accuse him. His girlfriend moved out of their apartment that we cosigned for to a different apartment . The apartment kept the security deposit of $300 and has sent a bill for an additional $1,000.00 in damages and clean up fee. We had a counseling session on the phone where this was addressed that he and his girlfriend needs to pay it. He said there wasn't any damage and that his girlfriend cleaned for 3 days. Then he proceeds to say that if all this hadn't happened that they would still be living in that apartment. I said are you blaming me? He said you're the one who did an intervention. I was in shock!! His counselor then said you would still be on drugs and possibly dead had your mom not performed an intervention. That was the last time I talked to him and it didn't end on a good note. I don't get along with his girlfriend and I have seriously been nothing but nice to her from day one, he also used that as an excuse for his drug use that he felt put in the middle. He put the whole blame on me and accused me of being childish because I blocked her on Facebook. I blocked her because she posted nasty stuff constantly and when my mom confronted my son about it she then purposely posted a picture of my son smoking a blunt joint which I nicely ask her to remove and she refused. No one wants to see their son doing that and have it posted all over social media. Anyways, I will try my best to get along with her since my son is staying with her and as long as he remains sober. I had posted before that she did not go to treatment for her heroin addiction but claims she quit on her own and is now clean which I find hard to believe. I just pray he stays clean!
    I've been told to treat him like an adult and let him face consequences so that's what I intend to do. I also learned a lesson to never cosign for anyone. I'm also trying to get myself back healthy, I'm thin anyways and I hadn't been able to eat so I lost too much weight. I'm now eating, sleeping, and still working on detaching (that's been tough for me). I'm currently reading Codependent No More. Hope I don't have a meltdown when he gets back. Thanks for letting me vent!!
  2. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Hi WSM!

    I am glad the girlfriend moved out of the apartment that you co-signed for. What a relief!

    I wouldn't ask another adult (especially her) to remove anything from their social media, though. People usually don't take kindly to that sort of thing, especially people that aren't always rational.

    Pick your battles wisely.

    I hope your son and his girlfriend will pay the outstanding fees, but the likelihood is probably small.

    Congrats on your sons completion of the program! Who knows, maybe it worked. You will know soon enough.

    Take care of yourself.

  3. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Worried Sick:

    Sorry to hear you are so stressed but I get it. You organized an intervention out of love and everything you have done for your son is out of love.

    I have had to learn to detach and coming to this site helped me tremendously. I think that is what you need to do and take care of yourself.

    You have given him a good start and he has to do the rest of this on his own.

    Keep us posted!
  4. worried sick mother

    worried sick mother Active Member

    This site helps me tremendously also RN. It's nice to know you're not alone. My sons counselor told me over and over that it's his journey. I have to remember that.

    Apple, you're absolutely right that time will tell. Yes getting rid of that apartment is a big relief and I'm sure I'll end up having to pay, kind of knew that from the get go though.