Son going through a tough situation

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Theresa254, Jul 28, 2016.

  1. Theresa254

    Theresa254 New Member

    My son has just turned 18 and he is going through a tough situation. He has made several attempts to stop but the withdrawals are terrible. We have paid for him to go to an inpatient rehab ( ), but he is reluctant to go and take the treatment. I have attended many family counsellings at Edgewood in Alberta but my husband refuses to go. I am really worried for my son. Any advice or comfort please.
  2. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    It is wonderful that you are going to counseling. It is unfortunate that your husband refuses to participate. Your sons reluctance to go to rehab is not unusual. Does your son have diagnosed mental or developmental issues? When you are ready, and if you are up to it, you may want to give a little bit of your son's history.You are a good mother dealing with a tough situation.

    Welcome to our little slice of the world.
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  3. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    Hi Theresa. Welcome. You will find some very wise moms and dads and even a wise "young-un" around here. Some of them should be along soon.

    Gosh, Theresa. 18 is SO young! I am sorry he is in the grip of an addiction and sorry for what it is doing to your family. It might seem like you are being pulled apart by husband on one side and son on the other.

    Perhaps hubs will see the benefit of counseling once he sees son making progress, or at least taking the first step? Perhaps he sees no point before then.

    Unfortunately, since son is legally an adult you can't MAKE him do anything. Even if you could, do you think this program would do son any good if he doesn't want to be there?

    I think it is a great step for YOU to continue counseling, even if it is alone. Are you attending Al-anon or Nar-Anon meetings? Another book many of us have found helpful is "Codependent No More" by Melanie Beattie. And keep posting. It helps a lot. Much peace to you, Theresa. You will find great support here.
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  4. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    Hi T...
    I guess 18 is an adult, it is not here in AL. Though the centers worked with us and never gave my kid a choice. I found my son's reluctance was Fear of the unknown....We spoke to him about what it was going to be like, he was transferred from a hospital, and that helped. Once there, he bonded with the patients.

    Men take longer to absorb this stuff...I was the lead during our crisis, and my husband admits that thank goodness someone took control. We are 6 mos in, and now he talks to a family therapist.

    Our son was diagnosed with mental illness....have faith, they can f eel so much better...but they are not rational thinkers when they use. will find great comfort here! Hugs
  5. DarkwingPsyduck

    DarkwingPsyduck Active Member

    What is he addicted to, exactly? That makes a huge difference on how you should approach recovery. If he is addicted to benzos or alochol, it can be dangerous to go cold turkey without medical supervision. They can (and do) result in potentially life threatening seizures.

    If he is addicted to pain medication, or any other opioid (heroin, vicoden, percocet, morphine, etc,), the detox wont be life threatening. It is so uncomfortable, he may find himself thinking death might be better, but it wont kill him. He will be more uncomfortable than anybody who hasn't experienced it could comprehend, though. Imagine the worst flu you have ever had. Multiply it by 10, and add in days where sleep is impossible. Then you're close.

    If he isn't ready, he isn't ready. Rock bottom differs from person to person, but we often need to hit that before we can recover. When we are at our lowest points, we are open to the greatest change. If you're supporting him financially in any way, I'd recommend you stop. Paying his rent, his phone, food, gas, etc. Doing those things for him only slow his path to recovery down. You should only offer TRUE help. Not to solve his problems for him, but WITH him.
  6. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Thanks for beating me to the benzo/alcohol warning. Benzo withdrawal is so bad and so drawn out, sometimes with side effects that can take months, if not years to go away, that 2 psychiatrists now have decided not to withdraw me from a medical dependence on benzos, because of concerns about the effects on my physical and mental state.

    There is no way I would consider trying to get off of benzos without medical help, not just because of the seizure risk.

    The risk with alcohol is not just seizures, but also runaway high blood pressure. That's why chronic alcohol users are always asked in the ER, etc, when they had their last drink so they can be started on medications to prevent the DTs (Delirium Tremens, which is the medical term for alcohol withdrawal syndrome)

    How he is handled in detox and rehab really depends on what substances he is using/abusing. With opioids, the withdrawal is pretty much the same, just varies in intensity based on a variety of factors, such as strength of the drug, amount used, length of time used, etc.
  7. DarkwingPsyduck

    DarkwingPsyduck Active Member

    Among opiate addicts, we all experience the exact same symptoms, just in differing degrees. I have a friend that started using with me. His addiction was nearly identical to mine. Same amount, same length of time, etc. We lived together, and sold together to support our habits. The only difference is the strength of symptoms we would experience. For me, I had the freezing sweats and restless legs the worse, which made sleep impossible. He had the nausea and weakness, but was able to sleep somewhat. Then again, I have a MUCH faster metabolism than he does, and I would start feeling symptoms 10-12 hours before he would. There is no symptom that any other opiate addict doesn't also experience to some degree.

    Getting off meth is almost the exact opposite of getting off opiates. My twin sister is a meth addict, so I have seen it as well. She would spend the first 3-4 weeks sleeping and eating non stop. Waking only to eat, then going right back to sleep. All day, all night. I used to envy it, as I was going upwards of 3-4 days without a moment of sleep, and unable to keep solids down at all. You can pretty much just kind of sleep and eat a meth detox off.
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    so thats how my daughter quit the meth withourt rehab. I was always afraid to ask about quittind.

    She was also stick skinny as an addict. That isnt her normal body build. She is average to plump.

    I love seeing her healthy, even plump today.
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  9. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    My son had the freezing chills and restless legs. His opiate use was not as long....they only gave him an IV. He tried to quit on his own , while attending classes....guess that turn out.
  10. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    At my last IT job, managing a networking group (LAN/WAN/Telco) I had an employee who was addicted to oxycodone. She decided to quit and called a team meeting to tell all of us.

    She missed three days of work for the worst of the physical withdrawal. While she was gone, we (my team) went out and got OTC comfort drugs, and some supplements, and wipes to wipe away sweat, just generally some stuff to help her be more comfortable at work.

    We also covered part of her workload so she could put more focus on her recovery. She finished withdrawal working every day, and as of when we all got outsourced 3 years later, was still clean.

    One thing Darkwing hasn't mentioned, hopefully because he was lucky enough to miss out on it, is that opioid withdrawal also causes severe diarrhea, to the point of being incapacitating, let alone humiliating.
  11. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    My son suffered from bad ibs most of his life. Nothing stays in him long....I use to think he had an Imodium issue!

    He never drank cause he couldn't stay out of the bathroom. Cramping was an issue. Now that he's clean..nothing has changed, but he has no problem gaining weight!

    I hate oxy...took one after surgery, threw the rest out...I'd rather feel some pain.
  12. DarkwingPsyduck

    DarkwingPsyduck Active Member

    I kind of bundled that in with the stomach issues part. It isn't a symptom I suffered too much, though. Again, probably due to metabolism. I mean, I would get it, but it'd end quickly as I.... Launched it out both ends.... (Trying not to be too crude here... Bear with me).

    That was nice of you, though. Wonderfully supportive. Your coworker was very lucky to have you.
  13. DarkwingPsyduck

    DarkwingPsyduck Active Member

    Well, Immodium technically is an opiate. Belongs to the same class. It just doesn't pass the BBB (blood brain barrier), so it doesn't affect chemical production in the brain. Which is what causes the euphoric feelings. A junkie can take massive amounts of immodium to help ease the severity of their symptoms. It works, but it doesn't just stop it entirely. And it obviously isn't the most healthy thing one could do, but for a few days, it can certainly help.
  14. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    A recent study (I don't have cites and don't know anything about the size or characteristics of the cohort) claims to have found that in very high doses, Loperamide does cross the BBB.

    The DEA is currently considering placing behind the pharmacy counter, requiring signature to purchase, and limiting the amount one can buy at a time and how often.

    I've only used Loperamide as prescribed, but have heard that in high doses it can ease withdrawal sx.
  15. DarkwingPsyduck

    DarkwingPsyduck Active Member

    Oh, I know HOW to bypass the BBB issue. As does any junkie who has ever bothered to look into it. It is a fairly simple process, but not an easy one to carry out. It takes a fair amount of chemical and pharmacological knowledge. More than myself, or most other junkies posses. I could TELL you how to do it, but I couldn't actually do it myself. It is simply too impractical for your average junkie.

    In massive doses, a bit will seep through, but the negative effects you'd feel would outweigh any positive you may have gotten from it. Keep in mind that a massive dose for me would be truly titanic for most people. I used the stuff a handful of times to hold me over between scores. It was never effective enough to allow me to actually sleep, but it did make being conscious much more bearable. And for that, I was taking upwards of 20 pills every 8-12 hours. More than anything, it improved my overall mental and emotional state, which is where most of the troubles lie. The symptoms themselves wouldn't be so unbearable if it wasn't for the knowledge that there is one simple way to make it all stop. 1 pill/line/shot/whatever. If it weren't for that craving, we wouldn't have too much trouble stopping, or controlling ourselves to some degree.

    On another forum, I would see elderly people come on and post about symptoms they are experiencing, and they'd have NO idea where they were coming from. I would notice them as opiate withdrawals, of course, and I would ask them what pain management program they are on. Once learning what it was, many would stop taking the stuff immediately. Without issue. They'd feel like :censored2:, but that mental and emotional NEED was never there, so they could write it off as something more like a severe cold. That's the big difference between a junkie, and a physically dependent pain management patient.
  16. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Well, I have no idea how to prepare Loperamide to get high on it, and no interest in learning how.

    I have experienced slight withdrawal after taking opioids for a period of time after major abdominal surgery and sugsequent infections. In my case, it was nothing worse than quite severe anxiety, the runs, and in general feeling like I had a flu for a couple of days. I knew it was withdrawal from the Vicodin. At no time did I have a craving for more Vicodin, for which I am grateful.

    I have hit the very start of benzo withdrawal a couple of times, and that scares the crap out of me because I start to go psychotic and get very panicky. I still don't get a craving for benzos per se, though I do know that they will "fix me", which is frightening.
  17. DarkwingPsyduck

    DarkwingPsyduck Active Member

    I think the problem goes double for you, though. Not only are you physically dependent on it, you cannot function properly without it. You NEED it to maintain quality of life.
  18. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Yeah. It's definitely a quality of life thing. I don't get high from them. The Temazepam makes me sleepy, which is why I take it.

    The only benzo I have taken that made me high was Xanax, which was the first benzo prescribed for the panic disorder. I don't remember the dose, It put me to sleep and I woke up having missed 4 hours before I went to sleep, and then found out from my husband that I had apparently been awake while I thought I was sleeping.

    I called my then psychiatrist and insisted on a change in medications.
  19. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    No benzo or any drug gets me high. Some give me scary hallucinations like painkillers. Morphine and fentatyl after my car accident...I didn't remember ten weeks of my life in the hospital, but I vividly recall hallucinations or dreams that never happened. Heck, even Tylenol 3 makes me hallucinate, although not as acutely. I can only take acemetaphene and narproxene.

    Benzos calm me without the high. I dont need or want more. But Xanax made me feel spacy and out of it. It scared me. Feeling that way reminds me of when I had depersonalization and derealization, both scary symptoms. I run from anything that makes me feel out of it and Xanax did. I tried it once. Never again.
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2016
  20. DarkwingPsyduck

    DarkwingPsyduck Active Member

    You are the opposite of an addict. For an addict, the quality of every aspect of our life decreases the more we use. Your quality of life decreases WITHOUT it. But, as you know, it is a tight rope walk.