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Son holds knife to wrist
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 485279" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hi Pepper, </p><p></p><p>I am so sorry for your hurt, and for the pain that my new nephew is going through. Whatever is going through his mind makes it no less easy on you -or him, or his little brother. This is a family in crisis, and I think you did a phenominal job on your feet to defuse what could have been a potentially volitle sutiation rapidly and with an extremely level head. Bravo mi` lady. How cooler heads prevailed here is nothing short of astounding to me - so pat yourself on the back. </p><p></p><p>Suicidal tendencies actually run in my sons bio-fathers side of the family. I had never been exposed to any of this madness (and I don't say that jokinly either) until I was married into that family. My x (quite another story - but briefly explained here) during my 13 year marriage had well over twenty-two very seemingly serious suicide attempts that made me have several hours and hours of conversations with therapists and mental heath care workers. Oddly enough different takes for different levels of severity to the threats but all agreeing to some degree that had he wanted to truly die each time? It would have just been a done deal, and not everyone leaves a note, or shows signs like in the movies. </p><p></p><p>I say run in the family because having a large family on both of his parents side - several of his relatives and their children had died from suicide in years prior. One of his Father's brothers (more like a Grandpa to our son) was supposed to go on a trip with me. I left for work while he was packing one morning, came home - found a note on the door and it said - Don't come in - I'm sorry - call 911. He had sat in a chair in the dining room put a pistol in his mouth aimed it at the top of his head and blew his brains all over the kitchen. My x - several times tried to overdose - but always seemingly found his way back to the house 'just in time' to be saved, and had I known then about his misery what I know now? I don't think the last time I would have called 911 for him. </p><p></p><p>My own son, on Zoloft tried to hang himself twice - never said a word to anyone the first time - they just found him in the closet at the group home hanging by shoe strings near blue in color, cut him down and took him to the ER. Years later after being incarcerated, they put in back on Zoloft against MY wishes due to the fact that it made him suicidal and he called and said good bye, I called his shrink in jail and the same time we were on the phone they called code for a suicide - he had hung himself by bedsheets from his top bunk. Since then? He's made lame attempts at saying he was going to kill himself - but when he has I've basically offered to assist stating I can't take the junk that goes along with it - or that he's loved and will be missed, or ask him what he thinks his funeral will be like - and convert the talk to something deep - making him think. When he was younger -about 7 or 8 he tried cutting, and I went into the kitchen and got a knife held his arm out and threatened to really help him if he needed to FEEL something - and after that? That BS stopped - so he's not too sure if I would truly assist with the suicide. I'm not sure he wants to push it in other words. Mostly though - When he gets to where he feels his back is up against a wall and he can't use his coping skills? He just calls because I felt that was a door that needed to be left open. I won't listen to the manipulation - but I WILL always talk to him as long as it doesn't drag on about "I'm really gonna do it, I'm gonna - this or that." Yeah really? Well I'll miss ya - not a thing I can do about it...I miss your brothers too but I can't bring them back..anymore than I could you - and just for the record....you got to stick around and see how loosing them hurt....but life goes on, the world doesn't stop because you got off of it..and you really do have things to contribute but you can't do those things with your head up your ****." Straight talk froma weary weary Mom. </p><p></p><p>When we threw Dude out? He had no place to go really - and no money, no education, no job........the clothes on his back.So yeah it kills a part of you - but it helps them learn to live --alone and eventually you hope and pray they come around and grow up - because the alternative is to have a 56 year old drug or alcohol addict, non-working, abusive man child that can't do anything for himself living in your house when you are in your 70's .......and STILL complaining about it and stressing out and wasting YOUR whole life - or take a chance that at 19 you do this and they get kicked around a little by life's hard knocks...while they're young enough to take it ---make something of themselves, get sick enough of living life in the dump and fast lane.....and become something worth while and YOU BOTH get your lives back. </p><p></p><p></p><p>Don't give up Pepper......Stand to your beliefs.. Your son needs you to do that. Just pray for his safety in the mean time, and let him know you're always there to talk = buit that's all you can give right now. That love, and prayer. </p><p></p><p>Hugs, Love and longwindedness...(sorry) </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 485279, member: 4964"] Hi Pepper, I am so sorry for your hurt, and for the pain that my new nephew is going through. Whatever is going through his mind makes it no less easy on you -or him, or his little brother. This is a family in crisis, and I think you did a phenominal job on your feet to defuse what could have been a potentially volitle sutiation rapidly and with an extremely level head. Bravo mi` lady. How cooler heads prevailed here is nothing short of astounding to me - so pat yourself on the back. Suicidal tendencies actually run in my sons bio-fathers side of the family. I had never been exposed to any of this madness (and I don't say that jokinly either) until I was married into that family. My x (quite another story - but briefly explained here) during my 13 year marriage had well over twenty-two very seemingly serious suicide attempts that made me have several hours and hours of conversations with therapists and mental heath care workers. Oddly enough different takes for different levels of severity to the threats but all agreeing to some degree that had he wanted to truly die each time? It would have just been a done deal, and not everyone leaves a note, or shows signs like in the movies. I say run in the family because having a large family on both of his parents side - several of his relatives and their children had died from suicide in years prior. One of his Father's brothers (more like a Grandpa to our son) was supposed to go on a trip with me. I left for work while he was packing one morning, came home - found a note on the door and it said - Don't come in - I'm sorry - call 911. He had sat in a chair in the dining room put a pistol in his mouth aimed it at the top of his head and blew his brains all over the kitchen. My x - several times tried to overdose - but always seemingly found his way back to the house 'just in time' to be saved, and had I known then about his misery what I know now? I don't think the last time I would have called 911 for him. My own son, on Zoloft tried to hang himself twice - never said a word to anyone the first time - they just found him in the closet at the group home hanging by shoe strings near blue in color, cut him down and took him to the ER. Years later after being incarcerated, they put in back on Zoloft against MY wishes due to the fact that it made him suicidal and he called and said good bye, I called his shrink in jail and the same time we were on the phone they called code for a suicide - he had hung himself by bedsheets from his top bunk. Since then? He's made lame attempts at saying he was going to kill himself - but when he has I've basically offered to assist stating I can't take the junk that goes along with it - or that he's loved and will be missed, or ask him what he thinks his funeral will be like - and convert the talk to something deep - making him think. When he was younger -about 7 or 8 he tried cutting, and I went into the kitchen and got a knife held his arm out and threatened to really help him if he needed to FEEL something - and after that? That BS stopped - so he's not too sure if I would truly assist with the suicide. I'm not sure he wants to push it in other words. Mostly though - When he gets to where he feels his back is up against a wall and he can't use his coping skills? He just calls because I felt that was a door that needed to be left open. I won't listen to the manipulation - but I WILL always talk to him as long as it doesn't drag on about "I'm really gonna do it, I'm gonna - this or that." Yeah really? Well I'll miss ya - not a thing I can do about it...I miss your brothers too but I can't bring them back..anymore than I could you - and just for the record....you got to stick around and see how loosing them hurt....but life goes on, the world doesn't stop because you got off of it..and you really do have things to contribute but you can't do those things with your head up your ****." Straight talk froma weary weary Mom. When we threw Dude out? He had no place to go really - and no money, no education, no job........the clothes on his back.So yeah it kills a part of you - but it helps them learn to live --alone and eventually you hope and pray they come around and grow up - because the alternative is to have a 56 year old drug or alcohol addict, non-working, abusive man child that can't do anything for himself living in your house when you are in your 70's .......and STILL complaining about it and stressing out and wasting YOUR whole life - or take a chance that at 19 you do this and they get kicked around a little by life's hard knocks...while they're young enough to take it ---make something of themselves, get sick enough of living life in the dump and fast lane.....and become something worth while and YOU BOTH get your lives back. Don't give up Pepper......Stand to your beliefs.. Your son needs you to do that. Just pray for his safety in the mean time, and let him know you're always there to talk = buit that's all you can give right now. That love, and prayer. Hugs, Love and longwindedness...(sorry) Star [/QUOTE]
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