The private investigator we've hired found our son, and the police picked him up and brought him home. I just got back from the detox center. My husband stayed there with him. We will be taking shifts to be with him there and make sure he doesn't take off again. I found out a lot during the past few days. I found out son started using drugs at an age much younger than I initialy thought, and that the only reason he didn't go into withdrawal the first time we sent him to rehab was that he saw his friend overdosing a week earlier, which got him to taper down and stay clean for a few days. We found out that his girlfriend's also on drugs, as we've suspected. We found out that he was invovled in all kinds of illegal activities. I'm beginning to wonder if I've ever really known this boy. Just an hour ago, he told me very calmly that since I am not his "real" mother, he doesn't mind it if he'll never see me again, and I shouldn't care what he does with his life or whether he's alive or dead, and that I should just let him leave with his friends so he can get high (which according to him is the only thing he enjoys). I don't think he told me this to make me angry or hurt me like he did before. I'm getting the feeling he really believes it. I've been replaying a lot of bits and pieces of our relationship ever since we adopted him 11 years ago. I always believed things worked out well despite the difficulties, until the current crisis started. I had a terrible thought... what if we weren't the right family for him? What if I can't give this boy what he needs to live a normal life? I don't know if he's ever felt like he's a part of our family, now. I don't know what I could have done differently, but I think it's clear that everything went wrong despite our intentions. And our intentions were and are good. We've always thought of R as our own, it wouldn't have hurt this badly if we hadn't. But if I couldn't give him what he needed then, how can I give him what he needs now to live a normal, satisfying life?