Son is hitting other kids and now tackling his sister

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by snees, Aug 13, 2014.

  1. snees

    snees New Member

    My son has always had issues with hitting other kids and playing inappropriately. Tonight he has touched his sister in an inappropriate area. Due to his language issues he cannot verbalize what he is doing. We are really concerned with his aggression towards others. He is eight years old and I am at the end of my rope..
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    You need to watch your two kids when they are together.Like all the time. He may have done this before; maybe many times. Kids don't usually tell this to Mom, if it happens, and it is serious.

    Does your son have a diagnosis? Is he getting treatment?
  3. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    snees, it is definitely a call of warning to never leave your children unattended together (additionally, never to leave your son with another child until you rule out any potential threat he may pose). At this point, I would worry more his behavior towards his sister than his aggression towards other kids. Hopefully you have a therapist or psychiatrist. It's time to talk with the doctor (and your daughter might need to do the same because you may not be aware that this has happened before). How old is your daughter and what is your son's diagnosis?

  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Hi Snees,
    I agree, just don't leave them alone.
    Also, since he's nonverbal (or at least poorly verbal) I would do show-and-tell. For hitting, if he wants to play or touch someone, gently take his hand and pat or stroke the person or dog. After you guide his hand, have him do it himself with your hand hovering about 1/2" over his, in case he gets rough or inappropriate. A professional therapist will be able to give you more tips.
    Also, allow the other kids to get a little rougher than normal in response, to show their displeasure. My easy child was born a peaceful soul, and I had to teach her to be assertive and sometimes, rough. (She ended up pulling a few stunts of her own, but that's another story!)
    I don't know if your difficult child is too developmentally delayed for this, but I met a toddler once, in easy child's daycare, who hit all the other babies and toddlers. The daycare provider spent most of her day keeping him away from them and yelling "No!" This was long before difficult child came along, but I instinctively wanted him to hear "yes" and know what to do, in addition to what not to do. So I sat down with him and asked him, "Do you want to play with the baby?"
    He nodded yes, enthusiastically. I held his hand and in a soothing voice said, "Nice baby, nice touch."
    The baby was fine. A tough little cookie, whether being hit or stroked or ignored. Probably a golden retriever in another life, lol!
    Anyway, it worked, for the few minutes I was there.
    I could see that a lot of work needed to be done.
    I always wondered what happened to that toddler.
    I feel for you!
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Definitely agreeing with the other to not leave them alone together. If he isn't already seeing a therapist and psychiatrist, I would press for that to happen soon. If he already has one, I would be calling to let them them know what is going on.