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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 632846" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>OK I need to give a dose of reality here based on my experience. I think often there is not one rock bottom that someone reaches and then they turn their life around. That happens for some.... others never reach it and others like my son reach several bottoms and then relapse and go through the process again.</p><p></p><p>We have always taken the stand with my son that we will help him when he wants help, but not when he doesn't. December of 2012 he was homeless for 3 months in Denver.... it was awful and I was very scared and also got to the place that I had no control over whether he lived or died. I dont, he has to be the one to choose to live. Really truly.</p><p></p><p>He had reached bottom several times before and gotten help, but that time things got pretty bad and eventually he wanted help. He came in from the cold and we got him into rehab...... and he did great for a couple of months and then left..... we had been through this before and we have been through it since. He alway sounds sincere, and I really believe that at that moment he is sincere....but he does have a hard time holding long term to that motivation.</p><p></p><p>Yet each time he hits a bottom and gets help, I think he gets a little closer to real recovery.... but I am no longer holding my breath or thinking there is going to be an ending to this madness.</p><p></p><p>The last time he relapsed it was after a year of sobriety and he actually lasted for more than 6 months in a program. That is progress.... and his relapse landed him back in jail for a couple of months. Now he is again in a program .... and for the first time on FB I am seeing some positive posts!! He actually put a positive post about moms today which kind of made my day.</p><p></p><p>So it is a process.... but I no longer believe that at least for my son there is one rock bottom. I also dont believe we should try to push them to their rock bottom..... the process is different for everyone and it is not our job to control it or create it. What is important is to set our boundaries and limits and not enable them to use substances. The rest is up to them.</p><p></p><p>TL</p><p></p><p></p><p>Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 632846, member: 15801"] OK I need to give a dose of reality here based on my experience. I think often there is not one rock bottom that someone reaches and then they turn their life around. That happens for some.... others never reach it and others like my son reach several bottoms and then relapse and go through the process again. We have always taken the stand with my son that we will help him when he wants help, but not when he doesn't. December of 2012 he was homeless for 3 months in Denver.... it was awful and I was very scared and also got to the place that I had no control over whether he lived or died. I dont, he has to be the one to choose to live. Really truly. He had reached bottom several times before and gotten help, but that time things got pretty bad and eventually he wanted help. He came in from the cold and we got him into rehab...... and he did great for a couple of months and then left..... we had been through this before and we have been through it since. He alway sounds sincere, and I really believe that at that moment he is sincere....but he does have a hard time holding long term to that motivation. Yet each time he hits a bottom and gets help, I think he gets a little closer to real recovery.... but I am no longer holding my breath or thinking there is going to be an ending to this madness. The last time he relapsed it was after a year of sobriety and he actually lasted for more than 6 months in a program. That is progress.... and his relapse landed him back in jail for a couple of months. Now he is again in a program .... and for the first time on FB I am seeing some positive posts!! He actually put a positive post about moms today which kind of made my day. So it is a process.... but I no longer believe that at least for my son there is one rock bottom. I also dont believe we should try to push them to their rock bottom..... the process is different for everyone and it is not our job to control it or create it. What is important is to set our boundaries and limits and not enable them to use substances. The rest is up to them. TL Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app [/QUOTE]
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