Have posted before about my difficult child son. The stories are all so similar and he's a carbon copy. I managed to save myself, found an apartment on my own before the eviction (which will be June 24th ish) and feeling survivor's guilt about that. My younger son, the straight arrow, and difficult child are living together until the eviction. Straight arrow has a place lined up and difficult child is supposed to be going to a residential rehab. He's court ordered to do that and instead of looking for places consistently, he's drinking (despite on his las rehab, being diagnosed with having AMMONIA on his brain) and drugging and looking on the internet at serial killers. Says he really doesn't care about is life and would like to emulate Ted Bundy, killing without remorse and cheating the system. The delusions just send me into orbit. He does nothing all day and is clearly mentally ill and self-medicating. I come home a couple of times a week and it just does my head in. I am trying to detach because I can't spend more than a minute in his company. He is lost without hope of normality. He has no insurance and says he can't call the county health dept because he has anxiety. Yet goes on craigslist and solicits men for sex (he's gay/bisexual) and drugs and alcohol. He is such a mess and has SO many opportunities to turn it around that I feel I just have to give up on him. That feels so wrong, yet there are NO lengths to which he will not go to steal, scam, lie etc. He will call me at all hours for money and xanax (which I occasionally take for anxiety). A complete sociopath. Not really sure what I'm asking here. Just I guess -is it okay to leave him to his own devices? I have tried EVERYTHING I can, for years and years. He's been in jail multiple times, rehab multiple times, put me in the ICU with a bleeding brain, been verbally abusive multiple times. It seems like every time he gets the chance to get on a different path, he messes it up. Just told me he is only living for me and as soon as I die, he will kill himself. He is 23. He says he will live on the streets as a prostitute if that what it takes to stay alive. What am I supposed to think of all this? Is it drama? Attention getting? Is it okay for me to want to get away and start building my own life, when nothing here changes? I have gone beyond the pail of enabling, but I still feel like there's GOT to be something I can do to save him. Is this enmeshment in its purest form? Is he a sadist, saying these tings to hurt me and elicit a response? I realise you all don't know him so can't answer these questions specifically, but is this typical of most difficult children? Would love some guidance and direction, yet again. Thanks in advance and HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL! Oh, the irony!