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Parent Emeritus
son is in partial hospitalization (PH)
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 684254" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I am sorry I gave a different answer than you wanted. I will try again.</p><p></p><p>We have only one choice when adults treat us in a way that we consider to be unwarranted or even abusive. To withdraw. There is no other option that I can see. Whether that adult is deemed by any other person or every other person to be wrong--insert any adjective you wish here--matters not at all. We can all agree son is "reactive." What does that do for you?</p><p></p><p>He has the right to blame you, me, or G-d for anything. He can have 5 million followers that agree. It is his right. As long as you are invested in what he says (or does) it will lead to the same result. You will feel unfairly accused and feel the necessity to make him wrong. There is no other result possible. It is a tug a war. As long as you are investing an ounce of energy in wanting a certain result from him, you will be hurt in some way.OK. He is reactive. What does that get you? Does that change anything?</p><p></p><p>The learning here needs to come from you. Why? Because you cannot <em>learn </em>for him. He is his own person.</p><p>There is nothing fair or just about this. Or kind. He can blame you for everything his whole long life (hopefully <u>not</u>). It is his right to do so. Until you accept this you will suffer.</p><p></p><p>I wish I thought differently, so that I could post differently. Hopefully I am wrong.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 684254, member: 18958"] I am sorry I gave a different answer than you wanted. I will try again. We have only one choice when adults treat us in a way that we consider to be unwarranted or even abusive. To withdraw. There is no other option that I can see. Whether that adult is deemed by any other person or every other person to be wrong--insert any adjective you wish here--matters not at all. We can all agree son is "reactive." What does that do for you? He has the right to blame you, me, or G-d for anything. He can have 5 million followers that agree. It is his right. As long as you are invested in what he says (or does) it will lead to the same result. You will feel unfairly accused and feel the necessity to make him wrong. There is no other result possible. It is a tug a war. As long as you are investing an ounce of energy in wanting a certain result from him, you will be hurt in some way.OK. He is reactive. What does that get you? Does that change anything? The learning here needs to come from you. Why? Because you cannot [I]learn [/I]for him. He is his own person. There is nothing fair or just about this. Or kind. He can blame you for everything his whole long life (hopefully [U]not[/U]). It is his right to do so. Until you accept this you will suffer. I wish I thought differently, so that I could post differently. Hopefully I am wrong. [/QUOTE]
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son is in partial hospitalization (PH)
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