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Parent Emeritus
son is in partial hospitalization (PH)
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 684292" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>You know, Walrus, our experience is similar, yours and mine. My relationship with my son was wonderfully sustaining for the both of us until his teens. Even then it was OK. It was after he turned 18 that things went downhill.</p><p></p><p>You did everything you thought to do for your daughter. When you knew to do more, you did more. So many factors enter into making a life. In our culture we are so geared towards performance and success and the idyllic pictures painted of what life should look like, we lose sight that life for many is hard and sad and full of mistakes.</p><p></p><p>We hold ourselves to impossible standards.</p><p>The horrible-ness in our situations is that something very bad happened to our young adult kids from which they cannot recover fully. Life as they knew it and we knew it ended and a new, dreadful, reality is now the kernel of truth around which we have to live and go forward.</p><p></p><p>I have been thinking seriously about your posts to Devasted and your counsel to her to move on. I have recently stumbled upon similar posts from Ironbutterfly that I am taking in the same vein. When all is said and done all we really have is self-care and self-regard.</p><p></p><p>I do not know how to do it, but I will take you both as my models. Self-care and self-regard can be habits. I can learn them. I do not know how, but I will learn. Thank you for being so persistent.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 684292, member: 18958"] You know, Walrus, our experience is similar, yours and mine. My relationship with my son was wonderfully sustaining for the both of us until his teens. Even then it was OK. It was after he turned 18 that things went downhill. You did everything you thought to do for your daughter. When you knew to do more, you did more. So many factors enter into making a life. In our culture we are so geared towards performance and success and the idyllic pictures painted of what life should look like, we lose sight that life for many is hard and sad and full of mistakes. We hold ourselves to impossible standards. The horrible-ness in our situations is that something very bad happened to our young adult kids from which they cannot recover fully. Life as they knew it and we knew it ended and a new, dreadful, reality is now the kernel of truth around which we have to live and go forward. I have been thinking seriously about your posts to Devasted and your counsel to her to move on. I have recently stumbled upon similar posts from Ironbutterfly that I am taking in the same vein. When all is said and done all we really have is self-care and self-regard. I do not know how to do it, but I will take you both as my models. Self-care and self-regard can be habits. I can learn them. I do not know how, but I will learn. Thank you for being so persistent. [/QUOTE]
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son is in partial hospitalization (PH)
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