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Parent Emeritus
son is in partial hospitalization (PH)
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 684300" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>My first child was always challenging but close to me until about age thirteen when he started isolating from the family. Some of his reasons were reasonable and his anger understandable....he was a teenager, we had adopted a child who was his age and the two never got along ( in his mind we shouldnt have adopted a child so close to his age and in retrospect I totally agree), plus a divorce was pending. So I do feel some responsibility.</p><p></p><p>Mental illness also kicked in, heartbreaking in many ways because it denied my very bright son his college years.</p><p></p><p>My own opinion (backed up by newer research) is that much of his reaction to life in those years was tied to his DNA. I feel there was/is MUCH mental illness and instability in the family genes. Are many of our kids not like one or both parent or off the rails uncle? How we react to situations ia rooted in our temperments. I have two daughters...one high strung, one very chill. How they react to the same situations are night and day. DNA is out of our control. They can blame us to the moon, but there are so many variables. A good portion of the choices they make due to their DNA., their temperments.</p><p></p><p>I am very close to my son now. His mental illness is under control. He has a great job, a house, a car and is a loving father. Things change.</p><p></p><p>Dont let your child pin his troubles on you. Reject it. Don't listen. Hang up. Stop texting. Leave the room. Make it clear that disrespect is not tolerated....la la la, you wont listen to it. Bye bye until your adult child is willing to engage in a calm, mutually respectful conversation. Period. Jmo</p><p></p><p>Try to have a good day. Many hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 684300, member: 1550"] My first child was always challenging but close to me until about age thirteen when he started isolating from the family. Some of his reasons were reasonable and his anger understandable....he was a teenager, we had adopted a child who was his age and the two never got along ( in his mind we shouldnt have adopted a child so close to his age and in retrospect I totally agree), plus a divorce was pending. So I do feel some responsibility. Mental illness also kicked in, heartbreaking in many ways because it denied my very bright son his college years. My own opinion (backed up by newer research) is that much of his reaction to life in those years was tied to his DNA. I feel there was/is MUCH mental illness and instability in the family genes. Are many of our kids not like one or both parent or off the rails uncle? How we react to situations ia rooted in our temperments. I have two daughters...one high strung, one very chill. How they react to the same situations are night and day. DNA is out of our control. They can blame us to the moon, but there are so many variables. A good portion of the choices they make due to their DNA., their temperments. I am very close to my son now. His mental illness is under control. He has a great job, a house, a car and is a loving father. Things change. Dont let your child pin his troubles on you. Reject it. Don't listen. Hang up. Stop texting. Leave the room. Make it clear that disrespect is not tolerated....la la la, you wont listen to it. Bye bye until your adult child is willing to engage in a calm, mutually respectful conversation. Period. Jmo Try to have a good day. Many hugs. [/QUOTE]
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son is in partial hospitalization (PH)
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