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Son is now homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 748978" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Poppy, it helped me to remember that <em>people treat us in the fashion <strong>we permit.</strong></em> I allowed my daughter to be abusive to me many years ago because I didn't know how to enact boundaries, say no or limit bad behavior. I believed at the time that because she was struggling with mental/emotional issues, the kind thing to do would be to turn the other cheek because I presumed she was not capable of being another way. I was wrong. I abandoned myself. And, I allowed her to disrespect me. It was a lose/lose. </p><p></p><p>I did what Copa said, every time she was abusive, mean, manipulative or in any way hurtful or obnoxious, I would state "I am not going to tolerate this behavior, every time you act like this, I will hang up, leave, drop you off......." She figured it out over time and stopped. It was a re-training and a breaking up of old patterned, dysfunctional behavior. </p><p></p><p>Yes you matter too, your feelings matter. No one gets to treat you with disrespect.......no one.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 748978, member: 13542"] Poppy, it helped me to remember that [I]people treat us in the fashion [B]we permit.[/B][/I] I allowed my daughter to be abusive to me many years ago because I didn't know how to enact boundaries, say no or limit bad behavior. I believed at the time that because she was struggling with mental/emotional issues, the kind thing to do would be to turn the other cheek because I presumed she was not capable of being another way. I was wrong. I abandoned myself. And, I allowed her to disrespect me. It was a lose/lose. I did what Copa said, every time she was abusive, mean, manipulative or in any way hurtful or obnoxious, I would state "I am not going to tolerate this behavior, every time you act like this, I will hang up, leave, drop you off......." She figured it out over time and stopped. It was a re-training and a breaking up of old patterned, dysfunctional behavior. Yes you matter too, your feelings matter. No one gets to treat you with disrespect.......no one. [/QUOTE]
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