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Son kicked out of the house and my wife enabling him - What do I do?
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<blockquote data-quote="Doddlin" data-source="post: 366288"><p>I highly recommend attending Families Anonymous. I have found that I have to change me and not my child. It's time they work on themselves. Apparently some of us (it was me in my home) tend to manage the lives of our children which stunts their personal growth and robs them of creating their own success. You stated, "<span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">My wife is a very kind hearted person that just can't "turn her back" on our son." </span></span>You'll find something called "detaching with love" that will help you all through the guilt and allow your son to begin living his life on his terms ... consequences and all. Once he sees the change in the way you react (or not react) to his behavior, he will begin his journey toward changes in his OWN life. This sounds more painful than it really is. In fact, in the past month since my husband and I started the group, I'm feeling very relieved and looking forward to living my own life for a change. My son (well, both of them really) have nothing to argue with me about. The basic idea at FA is "I am not his God... I didn't cause it (not his creator), cannot cure it, and cannot control it. Here is a great article. If your son is going to change, it will be change he creates... NEVER you. You can't control him, you can only love him. Get your life back and look into this. I promise, it will be the thing to bring your sanity back. Here is a good article to start: <a href="http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Lunney5.html" target="_blank">http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Lunney5.html</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Doddlin, post: 366288"] I highly recommend attending Families Anonymous. I have found that I have to change me and not my child. It's time they work on themselves. Apparently some of us (it was me in my home) tend to manage the lives of our children which stunts their personal growth and robs them of creating their own success. You stated, "[SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]My wife is a very kind hearted person that just can't "turn her back" on our son." [/FONT][/SIZE]You'll find something called "detaching with love" that will help you all through the guilt and allow your son to begin living his life on his terms ... consequences and all. Once he sees the change in the way you react (or not react) to his behavior, he will begin his journey toward changes in his OWN life. This sounds more painful than it really is. In fact, in the past month since my husband and I started the group, I'm feeling very relieved and looking forward to living my own life for a change. My son (well, both of them really) have nothing to argue with me about. The basic idea at FA is "I am not his God... I didn't cause it (not his creator), cannot cure it, and cannot control it. Here is a great article. If your son is going to change, it will be change he creates... NEVER you. You can't control him, you can only love him. Get your life back and look into this. I promise, it will be the thing to bring your sanity back. Here is a good article to start: [url]http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Lunney5.html[/url] [/QUOTE]
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Son kicked out of the house and my wife enabling him - What do I do?
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