Ok...here's the long and short of it....I have always been close to my sons...their mom and I have been divorced for many years, yet, I have always maintained a close relationship with both of my sons over the past 15 years. They now are 20, living on his own, and 18, a high school senior....the 18 year old, no problems at all....the 20 year old, is the one I have problems with. He has always been the "manipulator".....he is a "dreamer"....always talking about doing this, or doing that, but never following thru....he has had about 5-6 different jobs in the past year...is always excited when he starts, but then with time....something about it causes him to quit....and now has developed a pattern of whenever things get a little "tough"....or things don't go his way....he quits....he has had problems being financially responsible...but makes unwise decisions with his money, then expects his mom and stepdad to "bail him out"....which they usually do....but now they have gotten to the point where they too have said "enough is enough".....
Three months ago, he joined a band......he started talking about them "going on tour" to L.A., making a music video, etc....(they have a "manager" that has never managed a band before and has zero experience) so I questioned this, since they have not even played a gig here in Iowa yet......not one!......and after that...it was "I'm tired of you stepping on my dreams"....etc....which, once again, I've always supported his ideas, gave him advice, and it was up to him whether he accepted it or not.....this was then followed with those dreadful words we never as a parent want to hear "You are dead to me"..."You will never hear from me or see me ever again"....and I haven't....he refuses to answer texts, emails...nothing...he lives 3 hours away from me...as does the other son...who still stays in contact with me all the time......the 20 year old talks to his mom all the time....but he refuses to talk to me.....his mother is of little help....she says it's between him and me......
As I said...it's starting to hurt, because we have always been close.....just wondering if any of you have had similar situations...what you did...and how did it turn out?
Three months ago, he joined a band......he started talking about them "going on tour" to L.A., making a music video, etc....(they have a "manager" that has never managed a band before and has zero experience) so I questioned this, since they have not even played a gig here in Iowa yet......not one!......and after that...it was "I'm tired of you stepping on my dreams"....etc....which, once again, I've always supported his ideas, gave him advice, and it was up to him whether he accepted it or not.....this was then followed with those dreadful words we never as a parent want to hear "You are dead to me"..."You will never hear from me or see me ever again"....and I haven't....he refuses to answer texts, emails...nothing...he lives 3 hours away from me...as does the other son...who still stays in contact with me all the time......the 20 year old talks to his mom all the time....but he refuses to talk to me.....his mother is of little help....she says it's between him and me......
As I said...it's starting to hurt, because we have always been close.....just wondering if any of you have had similar situations...what you did...and how did it turn out?