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Substance Abuse
Son self-sabotages every opportunity
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 764057" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>Nandina I am so sorry for your broken heart. I also know the anger involved and the word “done”. </p><p></p><p>As you may remember I lost my son Jarod 2 years ago on Thanksgiving morning. He was hit by a van on the highway. He had no shoes on his feet and Meth in his system. </p><p>Because of the location of where he was when he died I am convinced he was trying to leave town and head back “home”. From California to Oklahoma. </p><p></p><p>Like your son, I and many other angels, had given him multiple opportunities to get better, have housing, have psychiatric care etc. he always blew it. </p><p></p><p>In the last year after a hospital stay which was always for delusional behavior on the streets and then getting locked up in a psychiatric ward Anyway I arranged for the hospital to give him a $100 his ID I ordered was sent there and a bus ticket home was waiting for him. This was in March. My son didn’t make the bus home when he got out of the hospital. He ended up using the $100 for drugs instead of food. </p><p></p><p>I told my son, “I am done. Don’t call me for 6 months. I can’t keep going through this with you Jarod. I will always love you. Get your life together and get off drugs. Goodbye”.</p><p></p><p>6 months passed. He would call and beg me to take his calls. Even said he was in a program and had gotten a 30 day chip. By the time I contacted the program he said he was in they told me he had left. </p><p></p><p>At 6 months I had not heard from my son for awhile so I put out a missing persons report. My son was found in a scoop of a bulldozer on the road. He was taken to a hospital. He had COViD as well as being on Meth. </p><p></p><p>Long story short…he had money coming to him from our Indian tribe. $1,000. He knew this. When he got out of the hospital the last time, a week before thanksgiving he was given a phone by a friend who cared about him there and that I trust. She even flew here for my son’s funeral. </p><p>In any event, the last time I heard from Jarod was a few days after his hospital release. All of my calls were met with silence. No texts back. He knew as soon as that $1000 got to me I would be sending it to him to get back home in time to celebrate Christmas with us…especially his 3 precious children. </p><p></p><p>I can only say this Nandina. </p><p>Your sons drug addiction and mental illness is beyond your control. I believe it is between the individual and God. Both my husband and I believe God had had enough of watching Jarod’s poor choices and suffering and finally called him home. </p><p></p><p>I live with a permanently broken heart and I will never be the same person as I was before Jarod’s death. </p><p></p><p>We are only in charge of the execution of having given it our all in raising them. We are not in charge of the results. </p><p></p><p>May God give you some peace no matter where you find yourself on this road. </p><p></p><p>Love, </p><p>Tammy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 764057, member: 3305"] Nandina I am so sorry for your broken heart. I also know the anger involved and the word “done”. As you may remember I lost my son Jarod 2 years ago on Thanksgiving morning. He was hit by a van on the highway. He had no shoes on his feet and Meth in his system. Because of the location of where he was when he died I am convinced he was trying to leave town and head back “home”. From California to Oklahoma. Like your son, I and many other angels, had given him multiple opportunities to get better, have housing, have psychiatric care etc. he always blew it. In the last year after a hospital stay which was always for delusional behavior on the streets and then getting locked up in a psychiatric ward Anyway I arranged for the hospital to give him a $100 his ID I ordered was sent there and a bus ticket home was waiting for him. This was in March. My son didn’t make the bus home when he got out of the hospital. He ended up using the $100 for drugs instead of food. I told my son, “I am done. Don’t call me for 6 months. I can’t keep going through this with you Jarod. I will always love you. Get your life together and get off drugs. Goodbye”. 6 months passed. He would call and beg me to take his calls. Even said he was in a program and had gotten a 30 day chip. By the time I contacted the program he said he was in they told me he had left. At 6 months I had not heard from my son for awhile so I put out a missing persons report. My son was found in a scoop of a bulldozer on the road. He was taken to a hospital. He had COViD as well as being on Meth. Long story short…he had money coming to him from our Indian tribe. $1,000. He knew this. When he got out of the hospital the last time, a week before thanksgiving he was given a phone by a friend who cared about him there and that I trust. She even flew here for my son’s funeral. In any event, the last time I heard from Jarod was a few days after his hospital release. All of my calls were met with silence. No texts back. He knew as soon as that $1000 got to me I would be sending it to him to get back home in time to celebrate Christmas with us…especially his 3 precious children. I can only say this Nandina. Your sons drug addiction and mental illness is beyond your control. I believe it is between the individual and God. Both my husband and I believe God had had enough of watching Jarod’s poor choices and suffering and finally called him home. I live with a permanently broken heart and I will never be the same person as I was before Jarod’s death. We are only in charge of the execution of having given it our all in raising them. We are not in charge of the results. May God give you some peace no matter where you find yourself on this road. Love, Tammy [/QUOTE]
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