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Substance Abuse
Son self-sabotages every opportunity
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<blockquote data-quote="Deni D" data-source="post: 764065" data-attributes="member: 22840"><p>Nandina, I'm sorry to hear how things have been going. It took my son many years of bouncing around before he settled down a bit. There were a few adults who took him in thinking they could provide the stability and guidance I obviously could not. They found out, and of course contacted me after things blew up to let me know how badly he behaved. My son also blew up transitional living situations. </p><p></p><p>It's very sad coming to the realization that there's just nothing you can do. Knowing he's not capable of taking care of himself and knowing his naivety and immaturity alone can put him in danger. Bad people can tell when someone is naïve but then the good people he runs across can also tell. I'm hoping your son keeps coming in contact with enough good people. </p><p></p><p>For my son, his rock bottom was that he got tired of living a life where he wasn't sure what was going to happen from one moment to the next. He went through many years of denying his mental illness until one day he decided he'd had enough. I had long stopped trying to tell him to go to the mental health clinic, stopped telling him to do anything to get out of his situation. I had come to the realization that me trying to guide him just gave him someone to fight against to do the opposite. When my son wasn't raging at me for his choices and would complain to me about something I would say things to him like "hmm, what do you think you should do about that?" and let him tell me whatever, whether I agreed or not. And I would pray that someone who he trusted would influence him in a positive manner. It turned out to be the social workers in the mental health units and out patient programs. He was hospitalized against his will a number of times. For years I had been out of the picture, my only support was uber rides to doctor's and out of pocket medical expenses. The rest was up to him. </p><p></p><p>These days my son still let's people here and there take him for a ride but he's been learning slowly. He's not doing great by most people's assessment, but for him it's night and day from before. </p><p></p><p>I can't say my son ever saw the light, I think it was more like the pain of his lifestyle was greater than the pain of doing something to put his life on a better path. </p><p></p><p>Praying for you and your family.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Deni D, post: 764065, member: 22840"] Nandina, I'm sorry to hear how things have been going. It took my son many years of bouncing around before he settled down a bit. There were a few adults who took him in thinking they could provide the stability and guidance I obviously could not. They found out, and of course contacted me after things blew up to let me know how badly he behaved. My son also blew up transitional living situations. It's very sad coming to the realization that there's just nothing you can do. Knowing he's not capable of taking care of himself and knowing his naivety and immaturity alone can put him in danger. Bad people can tell when someone is naïve but then the good people he runs across can also tell. I'm hoping your son keeps coming in contact with enough good people. For my son, his rock bottom was that he got tired of living a life where he wasn't sure what was going to happen from one moment to the next. He went through many years of denying his mental illness until one day he decided he'd had enough. I had long stopped trying to tell him to go to the mental health clinic, stopped telling him to do anything to get out of his situation. I had come to the realization that me trying to guide him just gave him someone to fight against to do the opposite. When my son wasn't raging at me for his choices and would complain to me about something I would say things to him like "hmm, what do you think you should do about that?" and let him tell me whatever, whether I agreed or not. And I would pray that someone who he trusted would influence him in a positive manner. It turned out to be the social workers in the mental health units and out patient programs. He was hospitalized against his will a number of times. For years I had been out of the picture, my only support was uber rides to doctor's and out of pocket medical expenses. The rest was up to him. These days my son still let's people here and there take him for a ride but he's been learning slowly. He's not doing great by most people's assessment, but for him it's night and day from before. I can't say my son ever saw the light, I think it was more like the pain of his lifestyle was greater than the pain of doing something to put his life on a better path. Praying for you and your family. [/QUOTE]
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