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Substance Abuse
Son told me why he does drugs
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 623623" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Diana, I am sorry you are in the thick of it with your precious son. I would recommend this book---I think it will shed light on many of the questions and things you are wondering about and thinking: When the Servant Becomes the Master. </p><p></p><p>According to this author (who is a Dr. who is in recovery himself), people try drugs for all kinds of reasons, but the ones who become addicts, while few, have the brain chemistry and makeup that makes them an addict. They can't stop like so many others can. </p><p></p><p>It really doesn't matter why they started taking drugs or drinking. </p><p></p><p>Being upset and sad and depressed and suicidal beyond our own ability to cope is cause for mental health treatment. </p><p></p><p>The fact is, many self-medicate but that is not the reason they became a drug addict and that is not the way to solve any kind of problem.</p><p></p><p>Try not to get caught up in the what ifs, guilt, feeling trapped by his reasoning. </p><p></p><p>Those situations---your divorce, the other problems---did not cause his addiction. If it hadn't been that trigger, it would likely have been something else---another trigger.</p><p></p><p>and sadly, like MWM said, we cannot stop anybody from killing themselves. We can't be with someone 24/7 and keep their hands tied so they will not kill themselves. </p><p></p><p>If he is willing to get help for all of his problems, that would be the next best step for him. If not, there is nothing you can do about that either.</p><p></p><p>Start thinking about yourself, what you want, your husband and your other child. That doesn't mean you don't care about difficult child, but you need to start caring as much about yourself as you do him</p><p></p><p>Keep coming back. We care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 623623, member: 17542"] Diana, I am sorry you are in the thick of it with your precious son. I would recommend this book---I think it will shed light on many of the questions and things you are wondering about and thinking: When the Servant Becomes the Master. According to this author (who is a Dr. who is in recovery himself), people try drugs for all kinds of reasons, but the ones who become addicts, while few, have the brain chemistry and makeup that makes them an addict. They can't stop like so many others can. It really doesn't matter why they started taking drugs or drinking. Being upset and sad and depressed and suicidal beyond our own ability to cope is cause for mental health treatment. The fact is, many self-medicate but that is not the reason they became a drug addict and that is not the way to solve any kind of problem. Try not to get caught up in the what ifs, guilt, feeling trapped by his reasoning. Those situations---your divorce, the other problems---did not cause his addiction. If it hadn't been that trigger, it would likely have been something else---another trigger. and sadly, like MWM said, we cannot stop anybody from killing themselves. We can't be with someone 24/7 and keep their hands tied so they will not kill themselves. If he is willing to get help for all of his problems, that would be the next best step for him. If not, there is nothing you can do about that either. Start thinking about yourself, what you want, your husband and your other child. That doesn't mean you don't care about difficult child, but you need to start caring as much about yourself as you do him Keep coming back. We care. [/QUOTE]
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Son told me why he does drugs
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