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Son with ADHD/ODD need to talk
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<blockquote data-quote="627666" data-source="post: 216880" data-attributes="member: 6376"><p>Marguerite, thank you for your recent response to my last post. I just realized you live in Australia. I can't wait to travel there some day. I am sure your accent is fabulous! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p> </p><p>Thank you for the reminder to pick up "The Explosive Child". So many parents on this site seem to recommend it, but after reading your statement about the book's alternate view on discipline I am especially eager to read it. We have seen "the best" behavioral therapist in Dallas for almost 4 years now and his approach (to ODD in particular) is a discipline approach. What I mean by this is, for the most part, he believes these kids know what they are doing and need to have consequences for their actions. I, too, believe my son needs to understand how he impacts peoples' lives and he needs to know there are consequences for his choices/behaviors...with that said, however, the negative stuff all the time seems to be too much. </p><p> </p><p>My son has always benefited from the positive strokes more than the negative, as I am sure we all do. What I am saying is I have been questioning this approach. Time out after time out, grounding him and making him earn time out each day, strict routines...they seemed to make sense in the beginning but after 4 years of this we are now looking for a new therapist with a new approach, one like this book seems to mention. I am completely open to new ideas because constantly being on my son's case for this or that is not working! </p><p> </p><p>I am not talking about the big stuff like disrespecting adults, hurting others, bullying, etc, but more the little things these kids do daily that drive us nuts. Maybe I need to understand how my son's brain works so I can cut him some slack if he needs to be redirected 100 X day. </p><p> </p><p>Also, a quick comment on your thoughts on faith and prayer. I do realize there are many people out there of different faiths and some without any hope or faith. I suppose I was speaking to the people who have faith in something or someone. I just want people to rely on whatever their personal beliefs are about a higher power to help them because no one can take this on themselves. For those without any hope or faith, I will simply say extra prayers for them. I do realize we live in a large world with people from all walks of spirituality and I do not want to keep anyone from the great advice they can find on this site. Thanks for helping me think through that.</p><p> </p><p>And yes, you can borrow my line about God having confidence in us as parents of difficult child's. I believe I heard that somewhere as a quote from Mother Theresa. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /></p><p> </p><p>Have a great evening, Everyone!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="627666, post: 216880, member: 6376"] Marguerite, thank you for your recent response to my last post. I just realized you live in Australia. I can't wait to travel there some day. I am sure your accent is fabulous! :winking: Thank you for the reminder to pick up "The Explosive Child". So many parents on this site seem to recommend it, but after reading your statement about the book's alternate view on discipline I am especially eager to read it. We have seen "the best" behavioral therapist in Dallas for almost 4 years now and his approach (to ODD in particular) is a discipline approach. What I mean by this is, for the most part, he believes these kids know what they are doing and need to have consequences for their actions. I, too, believe my son needs to understand how he impacts peoples' lives and he needs to know there are consequences for his choices/behaviors...with that said, however, the negative stuff all the time seems to be too much. My son has always benefited from the positive strokes more than the negative, as I am sure we all do. What I am saying is I have been questioning this approach. Time out after time out, grounding him and making him earn time out each day, strict routines...they seemed to make sense in the beginning but after 4 years of this we are now looking for a new therapist with a new approach, one like this book seems to mention. I am completely open to new ideas because constantly being on my son's case for this or that is not working! I am not talking about the big stuff like disrespecting adults, hurting others, bullying, etc, but more the little things these kids do daily that drive us nuts. Maybe I need to understand how my son's brain works so I can cut him some slack if he needs to be redirected 100 X day. Also, a quick comment on your thoughts on faith and prayer. I do realize there are many people out there of different faiths and some without any hope or faith. I suppose I was speaking to the people who have faith in something or someone. I just want people to rely on whatever their personal beliefs are about a higher power to help them because no one can take this on themselves. For those without any hope or faith, I will simply say extra prayers for them. I do realize we live in a large world with people from all walks of spirituality and I do not want to keep anyone from the great advice they can find on this site. Thanks for helping me think through that. And yes, you can borrow my line about God having confidence in us as parents of difficult child's. I believe I heard that somewhere as a quote from Mother Theresa. :happy: Have a great evening, Everyone! [/QUOTE]
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